Wow. Time.
Massage school is almost done. I have about a month left of classes, and then I have January to finish up anything extra. Who knows what will happen after I graduate.
My brain wants to plan and figure out the next step. My heart is being drawn back to the Islands of Hawaii. My heart also needs to be dancing, creating art, training, utilizing this body I have to dance my dances.
Things are flowing nicely. I have such an amazing homebase filled with so much love, respect, and Goddess power. Cree, Shelly, and I have such powerful harmony it is almost ridiculous. What an empowering stage of my life I am in, to be living with such amazing Goddesses- and to be furthering my own work as a healer.
Since as long as I can remember I have known my work here is many-fold. Physically I feel like I am always attempting to mesh myself in the healing world and the artistic dance world at the same time. Living in Mexico, dancing, was an intense period of creative explosion, and now living in Salt Lake city, I am in an intense period of learning deeply about the body and different methods of how to bring it back to balance. Maybe my life will keep doing this big pendulum swing from healing to dance- untill I can bring them both into my life fully and equally. Besides the fact that each contains the other as in the Yin/Yang balance. To dance is to heal, and to heal is to dance with life.
(In lomi-lomi massage from hawaii- the philosophy is to be dancing with God on the clients body-)!!!!
So many wonderful things to do- to explore!!! I have to remind myself that I am exactly where I need to be at the right time, always!! I have a long and lucious life ahead and can do everything I dream of doing!
Peru--- Thailand--- Fiji--- Hawaii--- South America--- India---- Bali--- Costa Rica
The trick for me is to stay grounded and present with where I am. Yes I can dream. But I have to be fully commited to where I am at the moment. One thing at a TiME!
though I had a dream last night that I was inquiring about dancing with a tribal african fusion dance company in South Africa..... Mwhaha... yes!
An ode to the winter. An ode to hot tea. An Ode to cuddling. an ode to being fully in love with yourself!
Thanks for reading my very spastic post.... This is just a way to say what I feel like saying with no order or concern about how it reads.
Love you,
Norianna
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Long Time Running
So finally I remember again that I have a blog. I have no idea who is even reading this- but I figure since I am posting this on the world wide web someone is bound to see these words.
Life is a mirror. We see what is reflected back to us. Our perception is viewed through our lenses of conditioning, beliefs, judgments, and ego.
I was just thinking yesterday how cool it is to imagine and think about the Human RACE as a collective. Each individual is fulfilling a unique and different facet/aspect of the divine. You might be more inclined to study bones and anthropology- while your neighbor is busy living out the photographer's dream. We are all living out each other's unfulfilled potential that individually we aren't accessing. You are the me that I never was or will be in this life. We are each other. Playing out each other's desires, fears, habits, trials and tribulations. Trippy
So as a whole we are a complete unit. In the human race we have EVERY possible character, ego-personality, talents, vibration, DNA chains.... everything that is possible to exist in the human race does. We are a large, grand, experiment traveling on a spinning globe in a Multiverse inside of galaxy upon galaxy. Wow. How serious we are. How serious we take life. What if it was just a big intricate illusional game that you signed on to play when you were still a pure soul wanting to travel to the big Earth University to experience the ultimate thrills of being human.
A big game on the wheel of life; and you are my brother, and you are my sister. You complete the parts of me that I in this body will never want to experience or live out in this lifetime. So I get to watch all around me as parts of my potential self are being played out in every interaction I have.
Whooa
Take a deep breath. The moment is always now.
Think about your past, the day that has flown by for you to arrive at this moment to read these words.
Doesn't it seem like a dream? how is it any different in your head than an actual dream? Couldn't you manipulate your dreams in your head to fit how you desire your reality to be?
The future is a dream too. There is no real difference in your mental head and imagination between past and future- the only difference being that your perception of them is locked into a linear sense of time.
Couldn't your past be your future, or vice versa? Couldn't you dream up your very present- if in fact all of life is just different layers of the dreamscape reality. If you are the dreamer couldn't you control your perception and experience of this very tangible, physical dream?
So then we come to the present. Again and again and again. Ok. I remind myself. Now is here, now is all WE HAVE.
We are a collective human race hurdling through dimensions at a rapid speed. Who is ready for takeoff? Who knows enough about themselves to be strong and comfy in their center admist all of this change?
Since we are a race of incredible human beings- our own experience affects everyone connected to this web of humanity. Your story matters. How you live matters. It inspires or drags down everyone you come into contact with. We are here to lift each other up, higher and higher!
Ready for 11.11.11. All it is is another date. Numbers being matter of energetics though, it is a powerful portal for unity and syncronization.
Loving you family,
stunned goddess of laughter
Life is a mirror. We see what is reflected back to us. Our perception is viewed through our lenses of conditioning, beliefs, judgments, and ego.
I was just thinking yesterday how cool it is to imagine and think about the Human RACE as a collective. Each individual is fulfilling a unique and different facet/aspect of the divine. You might be more inclined to study bones and anthropology- while your neighbor is busy living out the photographer's dream. We are all living out each other's unfulfilled potential that individually we aren't accessing. You are the me that I never was or will be in this life. We are each other. Playing out each other's desires, fears, habits, trials and tribulations. Trippy
So as a whole we are a complete unit. In the human race we have EVERY possible character, ego-personality, talents, vibration, DNA chains.... everything that is possible to exist in the human race does. We are a large, grand, experiment traveling on a spinning globe in a Multiverse inside of galaxy upon galaxy. Wow. How serious we are. How serious we take life. What if it was just a big intricate illusional game that you signed on to play when you were still a pure soul wanting to travel to the big Earth University to experience the ultimate thrills of being human.
A big game on the wheel of life; and you are my brother, and you are my sister. You complete the parts of me that I in this body will never want to experience or live out in this lifetime. So I get to watch all around me as parts of my potential self are being played out in every interaction I have.
Whooa
Take a deep breath. The moment is always now.
Think about your past, the day that has flown by for you to arrive at this moment to read these words.
Doesn't it seem like a dream? how is it any different in your head than an actual dream? Couldn't you manipulate your dreams in your head to fit how you desire your reality to be?
The future is a dream too. There is no real difference in your mental head and imagination between past and future- the only difference being that your perception of them is locked into a linear sense of time.
Couldn't your past be your future, or vice versa? Couldn't you dream up your very present- if in fact all of life is just different layers of the dreamscape reality. If you are the dreamer couldn't you control your perception and experience of this very tangible, physical dream?
So then we come to the present. Again and again and again. Ok. I remind myself. Now is here, now is all WE HAVE.
We are a collective human race hurdling through dimensions at a rapid speed. Who is ready for takeoff? Who knows enough about themselves to be strong and comfy in their center admist all of this change?
Since we are a race of incredible human beings- our own experience affects everyone connected to this web of humanity. Your story matters. How you live matters. It inspires or drags down everyone you come into contact with. We are here to lift each other up, higher and higher!
Ready for 11.11.11. All it is is another date. Numbers being matter of energetics though, it is a powerful portal for unity and syncro
Loving you family,
stunned goddess of laughter
Sunday, September 25, 2011
House manifestation complete. Whew.
Last night Cree, Shelly, and I signed a lease contract agreement for our NEW HOUSE.
Do you realize how monumental this is???
It has taken us 3 months to find and finally land a place. We have found other houses multiple times- but either it was being rented to someone else or mold became an issue or some other wierd upset came in the way. So now to finally actually solidly realistically be moving in is HUGE.
This house is really amazing: the back yard is BIG for salt lake city. There is a garden with fresh tomatos, squash, chard, different berry bushes, 3 different types of grapes, nectarines, plums, apples.... you name it we got it! The landlord lives in the basement with his 12 year old daughter- I have a good feeling about them. Mike, the landlord is super on it about safety, he is a fix it all type of man, and a super chill and cool dimenor. It is almost like we have a safe haven bubble around our house- and we have a man there just in case anything were to go terribly wrong.
Each of us 3 girls have our own bedroom. I of course get the tiny bedroom- mainly because I hardly own anything. Moving out to salt lake from North Carolina left me possesing literally 2 suitcases and a backpack. BAM- that makes things super easy and simple. I am so estatic to finally have a home. A bedroom. A place to constantly come back to that is MINE- private and quiet. I am so grateful to have this opportunity to live with two other amazing tuned-in goddesses as well. We are going to create such a beautiful harmonious atmosphere in our home. We even plan on having full- moon goddess gatherings once a month at least- utilizing our fire pit outside- (and when it is too cold- utilizing our grand fire place inside).
This is a huge commitment for me. Really the first time I have signed a lease ever- meaning I am really commiting to something here. I have to commit to a monthly budget- pay rent- manage finances- stay on top of school- work- and play.
I love how everything is falling into place also right around the fall equinox-
Times of balancing out energies.
This week I have a dance performance coming up as well. It is just a little side gig but it has been a super enjoyable process. The choreographer is a complete "non-dancer" meaning this is his first time working with dancers or doing anything dance related. So it makes for a really interesting and ever-changing choreographic process.
So like always: things are coming full circle, completing, and moving forward.
For 3 months I have attended massage school full time while sleeping on a massage table, the couch, or a futon, keeping my stuff mostly packed away, and living pretty spontaneously. It has been challenging at times, yet all in all the community house I have been staying in has been a really enriching lovely experience.
New beginnings.
New manifestations.
New commitments.
New loves.
New desires.
New goals.
New limits.
We are expanding conciousness rapidly. Riding a wavy rollercoaster through the dimensions of time-space reality. My journey is just one admist everyother god-being walking this earth. It is fun to share my stories with you, hopefully it does someone some good?!!
LOVE AND LIGHT
Do you realize how monumental this is???
It has taken us 3 months to find and finally land a place. We have found other houses multiple times- but either it was being rented to someone else or mold became an issue or some other wierd upset came in the way. So now to finally actually solidly realistically be moving in is HUGE.
This house is really amazing: the back yard is BIG for salt lake city. There is a garden with fresh tomatos, squash, chard, different berry bushes, 3 different types of grapes, nectarines, plums, apples.... you name it we got it! The landlord lives in the basement with his 12 year old daughter- I have a good feeling about them. Mike, the landlord is super on it about safety, he is a fix it all type of man, and a super chill and cool dimenor. It is almost like we have a safe haven bubble around our house- and we have a man there just in case anything were to go terribly wrong.
Each of us 3 girls have our own bedroom. I of course get the tiny bedroom- mainly because I hardly own anything. Moving out to salt lake from North Carolina left me possesing literally 2 suitcases and a backpack. BAM- that makes things super easy and simple. I am so estatic to finally have a home. A bedroom. A place to constantly come back to that is MINE- private and quiet. I am so grateful to have this opportunity to live with two other amazing tuned-in goddesses as well. We are going to create such a beautiful harmonious atmosphere in our home. We even plan on having full- moon goddess gatherings once a month at least- utilizing our fire pit outside- (and when it is too cold- utilizing our grand fire place inside).
This is a huge commitment for me. Really the first time I have signed a lease ever- meaning I am really commiting to something here. I have to commit to a monthly budget- pay rent- manage finances- stay on top of school- work- and play.
I love how everything is falling into place also right around the fall equinox-
Times of balancing out energies.
This week I have a dance performance coming up as well. It is just a little side gig but it has been a super enjoyable process. The choreographer is a complete "non-dancer" meaning this is his first time working with dancers or doing anything dance related. So it makes for a really interesting and ever-changing choreographic process.
So like always: things are coming full circle, completing, and moving forward.
For 3 months I have attended massage school full time while sleeping on a massage table, the couch, or a futon, keeping my stuff mostly packed away, and living pretty spontaneously. It has been challenging at times, yet all in all the community house I have been staying in has been a really enriching lovely experience.
New beginnings.
New manifestations.
New commitments.
New loves.
New desires.
New goals.
New limits.
We are expanding conciousness rapidly. Riding a wavy rollercoaster through the dimensions of time-space reality. My journey is just one admist everyother god-being walking this earth. It is fun to share my stories with you, hopefully it does someone some good?!!
LOVE AND LIGHT
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
butoh of pain
Pain is a huge teacher.
Teaches humility- submission to whatever is actually happening in the present moment.
Pain is a way of constantly being reminded you are in a physical body that needs love and attention.
This pain is.
Emotions surface.
Fustration. Non-understanding- impatience with the body- needing things to be healed faster then what is actually occuring.
Egos' desires versus the souls infinite wisdom.
Painbody is in pain.
I may not understand what is happening to my physical body- but this much I do know:
I want to be whole, complete, and 100% healthy.
Health is really EVERYTHING. It is such a challenge to stay upbeat and positive when one is in a lot of pain. I empathize with a lot of the world right now. How many children are getting limbs blown off in Iraq, or being raped in sudan, or starving, or extremely sick, ill, with no families, with nothing?
Whenever I compare my situation with those of so many others I am instantly humbled.
Yes I don't have my own bedroom right now- but Yes I do have a place to sleep that is warm and dry and comfortable.
Yes I can't make money right now being ill- but I have some savings to get me through and I will be able to make money when I am completely better.
there is always so much to complain about if we let ourselves- and then there is always so much to be grateful for if we let ourselves.
It is always a matter of choice. Our happiness depends on nothing except ourselves and our perception of life.
I can move through my scaredness, through the darkness and the unknown. I can dance a flailing dance of chaos in hopes to bring more centeredness to my dark frenzy.
I know when all is cleared I can look back on these moments and pat myself on the back for doing the best I could in any given circumstance.
So this is my butoh today. My acceptance of what is. I am healing. I am in a process.
I allow myself to rest into my own body- trusting it and it's strength to continue holding strong.
Teaches humility- submission to whatever is actually happening in the present moment.
Pain is a way of constantly being reminded you are in a physical body that needs love and attention.
This pain is.
Emotions surface.
Fustration. Non-understanding- impatience with the body- needing things to be healed faster then what is actually occuring.
Egos' desires versus the souls infinite wisdom.
Painbody is in pain.
I may not understand what is happening to my physical body- but this much I do know:
I want to be whole, complete, and 100% healthy.
Health is really EVERYTHING. It is such a challenge to stay upbeat and positive when one is in a lot of pain. I empathize with a lot of the world right now. How many children are getting limbs blown off in Iraq, or being raped in sudan, or starving, or extremely sick, ill, with no families, with nothing?
Whenever I compare my situation with those of so many others I am instantly humbled.
Yes I don't have my own bedroom right now- but Yes I do have a place to sleep that is warm and dry and comfortable.
Yes I can't make money right now being ill- but I have some savings to get me through and I will be able to make money when I am completely better.
there is always so much to complain about if we let ourselves- and then there is always so much to be grateful for if we let ourselves.
It is always a matter of choice. Our happiness depends on nothing except ourselves and our perception of life.
I can move through my scaredness, through the darkness and the unknown. I can dance a flailing dance of chaos in hopes to bring more centeredness to my dark frenzy.
I know when all is cleared I can look back on these moments and pat myself on the back for doing the best I could in any given circumstance.
So this is my butoh today. My acceptance of what is. I am healing. I am in a process.
I allow myself to rest into my own body- trusting it and it's strength to continue holding strong.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Full moon musings
I danced
For my own moon shadow to dance back in my reflection on the cool cement
No street lamps need to flicker
The sun's own infinite glow bounces back to hit me square in the heart
Dancing for the sweet joy of freedom
In expression --- lies the power
I breathe in the smell of midnight
bursting through the atoms of conciousness
How the moonlight caresses the very depths of my being
Forcing me to burst into a song of dance
Alone under this vast sky
I danced
For my own moon shadow to dance back in my reflection on the cool cement
No street lamps need to flicker
The sun's own infinite glow bounces back to hit me square in the heart
Dancing for the sweet joy of freedom
In expression --- lies the power
I breathe in the smell of midnight
bursting through the atoms of conciousness
How the moonlight caresses the very depths of my being
Forcing me to burst into a song of dance
Alone under this vast sky
I danced
Friday, September 2, 2011
love
This is the truth. When I open my heart. This is what pours out. I love. I love I love. I relish mama earth and her bounty, her skin is my own, her belly is what held me for 9 months while I evolved into something human-like. I am the sun's radiance, that which warms my own skin is my own love- reflecting back to me infinitely. I love.
When I stop. When I realize the levels of tension I carry around day to day- and when I reach a point of being able to let it all go- I am finally able to feel fully with my heart like I did when I was a child.
Our truth needs to be heard. Needs to be shared.
Time is only real in this very moment. How am I treating each moment?
This is how:
To immerse myself in the fragrances of lavender as I walk lesiurely past bushes and bushes of purple budding scents. My every cell can vibrate with affection for one another at how magical everything always fits together. There is no seperation between the air I breathe and the breather. Life flows through it all- I am life. I am the peak the valley and the plain of life. I have it all.
this is the truth. I strive to live it.
Relish these moments. Relish the light reflecting brilliantly onto deeply colored maple trees. Relish your family, those that love you through anything. Relish your own capability of brilliance-
As we are all relections of eachother.
May we lift eachother higher and higher till we finally merge to become whole with the sun!
When I stop. When I realize the levels of tension I carry around day to day- and when I reach a point of being able to let it all go- I am finally able to feel fully with my heart like I did when I was a child.
Our truth needs to be heard. Needs to be shared.
Time is only real in this very moment. How am I treating each moment?
This is how:
To immerse myself in the fragrances of lavender as I walk lesiurely past bushes and bushes of purple budding scents. My every cell can vibrate with affection for one another at how magical everything always fits together. There is no seperation between the air I breathe and the breather. Life flows through it all- I am life. I am the peak the valley and the plain of life. I have it all.
this is the truth. I strive to live it.
Relish these moments. Relish the light reflecting brilliantly onto deeply colored maple trees. Relish your family, those that love you through anything. Relish your own capability of brilliance-
As we are all relections of eachother.
May we lift eachother higher and higher till we finally merge to become whole with the sun!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
spirit food
Dreams happen easier if you sleep.
Interesting.
We digest easier when we put food in our stomachs. It is what needs to be done.
Sometimes it gets complicated and challenging to do the simple things in life.
for me these simple things are my own practices.
dance.
meditation
yoga
eating wholesome foods
silence
space
nature
So when life takes a hold we gotta flow.
Where attention goes energy flows.
I don't know the theme of this blog.
Does it have to have a theme?
Are we scared to express our selves for fear of rejection, for fear of ridicule, for fear of not being good enough?
So read this.
This is me. I am me. Me is I. I am this. Infinite possibility in a human body. This is you. We are IT.
And understand. My lessons, my journey, my story is only another part of your own story. Together if we are true to who we are and what we are experiencing, we can learn from each other.
I am your best reflection.
Yesterday I went to a meditation class in Salt Lake. What the teacher was saying hit right on home for me. We don't have to do ANYTHING to attain connection with source. Techniques for mediation are like the boat that help you cross the river. Helpful, but can get in the way if you continue rowing on dry land- right? Really all we have to do is do nothing. Surrender. Source is in each and everyone of us. If we could stop everything- because it is the anything and everything that is a distraction and gets in the way- then source would begin to flow into us naturally.
What do you do that continues to block source energy from constantly living within you??
How come I feel disconnected at times and super connected at times? My heart wants to be open allllll the TIMMMEEE. Why isn't it? Why is it that there are judgements crossing my mind----
Oh. Nori. Duh. You are human. Remember that.
So yea. I need to eat. My spirit wants food. Spirit food.
Like my dance. My mediation. My intentional practices.
I would like to say we all crave spirit food. Perphaps that is what I am seeking when I bliss out eating coconut bliss, or raw chocolate cake.....
This just is.
You just are.
We are it.
Beings. Human Beings. Experiencing a hell of a lot right now.
Norianna is just one of those. Seeking intentional balance. I know I am the only one who can create it.
peace
Interesting.
We digest easier when we put food in our stomachs. It is what needs to be done.
Sometimes it gets complicated and challenging to do the simple things in life.
for me these simple things are my own practices.
dance.
meditation
yoga
eating wholesome foods
silence
space
nature
So when life takes a hold we gotta flow.
Where attention goes energy flows.
I don't know the theme of this blog.
Does it have to have a theme?
Are we scared to express our selves for fear of rejection, for fear of ridicule, for fear of not being good enough?
So read this.
This is me. I am me. Me is I. I am this. Infinite possibility in a human body. This is you. We are IT.
And understand. My lessons, my journey, my story is only another part of your own story. Together if we are true to who we are and what we are experiencing, we can learn from each other.
I am your best reflection.
Yesterday I went to a meditation class in Salt Lake. What the teacher was saying hit right on home for me. We don't have to do ANYTHING to attain connection with source. Techniques for mediation are like the boat that help you cross the river. Helpful, but can get in the way if you continue rowing on dry land- right? Really all we have to do is do nothing. Surrender. Source is in each and everyone of us. If we could stop everything- because it is the anything and everything that is a distraction and gets in the way- then source would begin to flow into us naturally.
What do you do that continues to block source energy from constantly living within you??
How come I feel disconnected at times and super connected at times? My heart wants to be open allllll the TIMMMEEE. Why isn't it? Why is it that there are judgements crossing my mind----
Oh. Nori. Duh. You are human. Remember that.
So yea. I need to eat. My spirit wants food. Spirit food.
Like my dance. My mediation. My intentional practices.
I would like to say we all crave spirit food. Perphaps that is what I am seeking when I bliss out eating coconut bliss, or raw chocolate cake.....
This just is.
You just are.
We are it.
Beings. Human Beings. Experiencing a hell of a lot right now.
Norianna is just one of those. Seeking intentional balance. I know I am the only one who can create it.
peace
Saturday, August 20, 2011
life art process
Measuring.
I am trying to understand life.
At least what she is trying to tell me.
Where am I supposed to live? Here or there?
Seems like clarity should explode from every cell of my being, or every cell of this table, or every cell of my food.
Is it possible to look into the coffee grinds and see what the future holds?
Can I?
I am inspired to create.
I watched the documentary about Anna Halprin called "Breath made visible"-
LIFE IS ART. there is no seperation.
And so in this life-art-process I can use my uncertinty to create art- I can dance in the midst of chaos, in the midst of not knowing, and in the middle of feeling unsettled.
All I have to do is DO IT. Commit to my life. Commit to my art. Let there be no seperation.
Measuring-
Balancing my time, my effort, my desire, my healing
I WANT IT ALL.....
I know that healing and dance are both predominate things in my life that I am here to do good work with.
Now my life is immersed in Massage school, the healing aspects- and I still feel like part of my soul is dying, being forgotten. The only thing that fulfills that part of my being is through dance, art, and the creative process... Even though I have noticed when I am fully immersed in that world- I would never be completely satisfied unless I incorporate the spirituality and healing aspects into dance and art.
This is a balance I am struggling to find. How can I have it all?
I usually tend to come really close-
Life. Trying to understand where and how everything fits and flows together.
I am recognizing the place and importance of the heart.
In order to understand- I must live from the heart, know from the heart, love from the heart.
Then there is no duality. And I can have it all.
Patience, commitment, dedication.
Healing, Dance, freedom, community, expression, nature, love, yes yes yes
I am trying to understand life.
At least what she is trying to tell me.
Where am I supposed to live? Here or there?
Seems like clarity should explode from every cell of my being, or every cell of this table, or every cell of my food.
Is it possible to look into the coffee grinds and see what the future holds?
Can I?
I am inspired to create.
I watched the documentary about Anna Halprin called "Breath made visible"-
LIFE IS ART. there is no seperation.
And so in this life-art-process I can use my uncertinty to create art- I can dance in the midst of chaos, in the midst of not knowing, and in the middle of feeling unsettled.
All I have to do is DO IT. Commit to my life. Commit to my art. Let there be no seperation.
Measuring-
Balancing my time, my effort, my desire, my healing
I WANT IT ALL.....
I know that healing and dance are both predominate things in my life that I am here to do good work with.
Now my life is immersed in Massage school, the healing aspects- and I still feel like part of my soul is dying, being forgotten. The only thing that fulfills that part of my being is through dance, art, and the creative process... Even though I have noticed when I am fully immersed in that world- I would never be completely satisfied unless I incorporate the spirituality and healing aspects into dance and art.
This is a balance I am struggling to find. How can I have it all?
I usually tend to come really close-
Life. Trying to understand where and how everything fits and flows together.
I am recognizing the place and importance of the heart.
In order to understand- I must live from the heart, know from the heart, love from the heart.
Then there is no duality. And I can have it all.
Patience, commitment, dedication.
Healing, Dance, freedom, community, expression, nature, love, yes yes yes
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Health
For about the last 2.5 weeks I've gone through a double wave of a serious throat infection. The second time it got to be so bad my dad actually flew out from North Carolina to see what was going on with me out here in Salt Lake City, UT. This was the first time I was ever hooked up to an IV- first time given steriods.... I like to say that cause it makes everything sound really intense- which it was, but now looking back it all seems so surreal. It is amazing to be more or less confined to an area for days on an end- with only me myself and I to look after. I wonder how much we constantly are running away from in the ways that we tend to distract or occupy ourselves.
I was definitely dealing with lots of 3rd Chakra stuff- needing to feel like I was just being loved, taken care of, and always attended to- So it was such a blessing that my father actually took the time to fly out and come to pamper and soothe my soul.
REally truly though I am the only one who can always soothe and comfort my own self.
Major lessons.
Major clearings.
Tests of strength, character, and resiliance
Who knows. Maybe subconciously a reason for my sickness was to connect with my dad. To understand him on a much deeper level; away from normal stresses and circumstances.
So grateful for all of my family in every way, shape, and form.
I am all better now.
Trying to take it easy.
Learn my lessons.
Feeling so much gratitude for swallowing, breathing, and my life!
namaste
I was definitely dealing with lots of 3rd Chakra stuff- needing to feel like I was just being loved, taken care of, and always attended to- So it was such a blessing that my father actually took the time to fly out and come to pamper and soothe my soul.
REally truly though I am the only one who can always soothe and comfort my own self.
Major lessons.
Major clearings.
Tests of strength, character, and resiliance
Who knows. Maybe subconciously a reason for my sickness was to connect with my dad. To understand him on a much deeper level; away from normal stresses and circumstances.
So grateful for all of my family in every way, shape, and form.
I am all better now.
Trying to take it easy.
Learn my lessons.
Feeling so much gratitude for swallowing, breathing, and my life!
namaste
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Lessons of 5th Chakra
So Wednesday morning I awoke with a heavy sickness coming on; started in my throat and took me out. This was in some way (like all things) probably really necessary- that I was out cold for a few days. This allowed me to have precious alone time, deep internal reflection time, and the sleep that I have been craving - even if I was concious of that craving or not. Being sick is literally like having a powerful reset button being pushed. The body naturally cleanses itself, naturally heals itself, and naturally loves itself- only if we (spirit/ego) allow the natural process to happen. I am so grateful at how fast and natural my body is progressing. From when I woke up this morning at around 9 am to now 2pm... the heavy residue of my sore throat is practically gone. To me that is incredible. Of course I know instaneous healing, quantum healing, miracle healing, ect. all exist... but I have to start somewhere right?
So much gratitude comes from having abilities and situations taken away- and then to have them again. This learning process that comes through seperation is incredible. I really wish I could carry around the humbleness, reverence, and sheer appreciation for the simplest things in life- all the time. Our health is EVERYTHING. Without it- then what? To me life is about quality, how can I soak in the richness of this experience without having an optimal body to pass the experience through? My heart goes out to all those people in the world who are in deep pain- how can we as a human race allievate suffering?
Though- I do recognize suffering has its place. I am certainly grateful for it (if it is in the least bit tolerable)- because it allows me to be that much more grateful, humble, centered, and compassionate.
My physical lessons as of about a month seem to be dealing with the throat. Avenues of expression. Releasing all fears of expressing 100% honestly to how I feel, what I am experiencing at any given moment. There is such a boost of self-empowerment when I just lay it out flat- when I allow there to be no hinderances to how I am experiencing this reality. I recognize in my being completely honest and vulnerable- it allows others to do the same and to recieve me in a more compassionate state. But above all- this is honestly the only thing I CAN DO. It is a little errie- I must admit. I feel so in tune with my own inner state (ok ok not all the time... but a lot) that to not express something that I feel like must be expressed- just seems absurdly ridonculous...
And to add to that:
I moved to Salt Lake City to go through massage school with a close soul sister, Shelly. It really does feel like we are in some intense relationship right now- because I kind of more or less depend on her for my active life here. Through her I have met everyone I have met- have had the amazing opportunities I have had...ect. I just wanted to honor how well I think we are both doing for the intensity of the situation- because we are spending almost 24/7 with each other- granted we are still looking for that perfect spot to root down and create serious space boundaries- called bedrooms. I believe one of the key ingredients we both have down pretty solid, is our ability to communicate from the heart. If we are sensing that something is up, or we infringed on a sensitivity, or whatever- we can always approach and handle each situation with maturity. Even if it is in retrospect- and we have had a moment to think before reacting.
In Lak'esh. I am another you.
I honor all my relations:
IN EVERYTHING they are teaching me.
Through the challenges comes great rewards- I feel like everytime I take a big leap forward in learning about myself- I have accomplished so incredibly much! That is why we are here right?
To. To. To.... LEARN. YEA...
And what better than to have amazing goddesses, fellow human beings, and nature- reflect back to us our own shadows, our own beauty, and our own infinitie potential?
Wo... that was definitely quite a download. Love you!
So much gratitude comes from having abilities and situations taken away- and then to have them again. This learning process that comes through seperation is incredible. I really wish I could carry around the humbleness, reverence, and sheer appreciation for the simplest things in life- all the time. Our health is EVERYTHING. Without it- then what? To me life is about quality, how can I soak in the richness of this experience without having an optimal body to pass the experience through? My heart goes out to all those people in the world who are in deep pain- how can we as a human race allievate suffering?
Though- I do recognize suffering has its place. I am certainly grateful for it (if it is in the least bit tolerable)- because it allows me to be that much more grateful, humble, centered, and compassionate.
My physical lessons as of about a month seem to be dealing with the throat. Avenues of expression. Releasing all fears of expressing 100% honestly to how I feel, what I am experiencing at any given moment. There is such a boost of self-empowerment when I just lay it out flat- when I allow there to be no hinderances to how I am experiencing this reality. I recognize in my being completely honest and vulnerable- it allows others to do the same and to recieve me in a more compassionate state. But above all- this is honestly the only thing I CAN DO. It is a little errie- I must admit. I feel so in tune with my own inner state (ok ok not all the time... but a lot) that to not express something that I feel like must be expressed- just seems absurdly ridonculous...
And to add to that:
I moved to Salt Lake City to go through massage school with a close soul sister, Shelly. It really does feel like we are in some intense relationship right now- because I kind of more or less depend on her for my active life here. Through her I have met everyone I have met- have had the amazing opportunities I have had...ect. I just wanted to honor how well I think we are both doing for the intensity of the situation- because we are spending almost 24/7 with each other- granted we are still looking for that perfect spot to root down and create serious space boundaries- called bedrooms. I believe one of the key ingredients we both have down pretty solid, is our ability to communicate from the heart. If we are sensing that something is up, or we infringed on a sensitivity, or whatever- we can always approach and handle each situation with maturity. Even if it is in retrospect- and we have had a moment to think before reacting.
In Lak'esh. I am another you.
I honor all my relations:
IN EVERYTHING they are teaching me.
Through the challenges comes great rewards- I feel like everytime I take a big leap forward in learning about myself- I have accomplished so incredibly much! That is why we are here right?
To. To. To.... LEARN. YEA...
And what better than to have amazing goddesses, fellow human beings, and nature- reflect back to us our own shadows, our own beauty, and our own infinitie potential?
Wo... that was definitely quite a download. Love you!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Moab Utah verus Salt Lake City
This 3 day weekend I went 4 hours south of Salt Lake City to the famous Moab desert of Utah! I went in a car full of amazing goddesses: Jen, Cree, and Shelly! Together we rolled down to the red rocks- I was completely blown away by the intenseness of natures' creations. Saturday we met up with Shelly's old high school guy friends and met up at the colorado river. We had two big rafts and packed a bunch of stuff on board for an adventurous overnight trip. Life is amazing. Once we completely let go and flow in each and every moment- magic begins to happen. I am reflecting now how important it is to live free and without judgement towards myself or others. This time in my life now I seem to be breaking every box I had sub-conciously put myself in. It feels so utterly liberating to experience life without "boundaries" and "boxes of perceptions". So after floating down an epic river, our crew of people landed on a deserted beach bank to dock up for the night. I witnessed the sunset reflecting on the sculpted red rocks, I drank in the summer moist air, I was held by the majesty of natures grace, I was fed deeply. The night progressed and the stars were the most incredible I may have seen yet: an endless spray of cosmic fairy dust.
The ladies I had come on the trip with each represented an element: Shelly; water, Cree; earth, Jen; fire, Me; Air..... The weekend was a cosmic dance between honesty, respect, and our elements interacting with vitality. Jen plans on painting each of us in our element- she is an incredible artist- look her up at Jennifer Michelle Long.
To sum up an incredible weekend- I feel nourished deeply in all ways. Physically, spiritually, mentally- my support and balance came from my elemental goddesses, the actual elements, and the freedom of expression.
YEAH!
The ladies I had come on the trip with each represented an element: Shelly; water, Cree; earth, Jen; fire, Me; Air..... The weekend was a cosmic dance between honesty, respect, and our elements interacting with vitality. Jen plans on painting each of us in our element- she is an incredible artist- look her up at Jennifer Michelle Long.
To sum up an incredible weekend- I feel nourished deeply in all ways. Physically, spiritually, mentally- my support and balance came from my elemental goddesses, the actual elements, and the freedom of expression.
YEAH!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
OH MY GODDESSSSSSSSS
Why why why....
HAHA so I am here in salt lake city wanting more then anything to have a space to call my own. Somewhere I can feel at least relatively grounded while I go through a really intensive massage training program, start a whole new life, work, dance, create.... I am recognizing my inate desires to feel GROUNDED. More then obvious. To be grounded. To be grounded. I WANT TO BE GROUNDED. I guess I have the choice. Right? It is up to me to stay balanced in myself no matter the outer circumstances. Which I have to say has been quite sucessful- but even so there is something to be said for physical locality and knowing where all my things are at every given moment because they have a shelf and arent stuffed in a dusty closet somewhere. O poops. The energy of this day is strange. I feel so grateful for everything and just a tad bit fustrated. Ok great! more medicine to be working with now I guess. In moments of tension we can learn to release into divine flow the most.
LOVE. Is all i can do. and so i will. oh poops.
HAHA so I am here in salt lake city wanting more then anything to have a space to call my own. Somewhere I can feel at least relatively grounded while I go through a really intensive massage training program, start a whole new life, work, dance, create.... I am recognizing my inate desires to feel GROUNDED. More then obvious. To be grounded. To be grounded. I WANT TO BE GROUNDED. I guess I have the choice. Right? It is up to me to stay balanced in myself no matter the outer circumstances. Which I have to say has been quite sucessful- but even so there is something to be said for physical locality and knowing where all my things are at every given moment because they have a shelf and arent stuffed in a dusty closet somewhere. O poops. The energy of this day is strange. I feel so grateful for everything and just a tad bit fustrated. Ok great! more medicine to be working with now I guess. In moments of tension we can learn to release into divine flow the most.
LOVE. Is all i can do. and so i will. oh poops.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Grounding out, or trying to.
Aloha!
WHAT A GREAT AMAZING ADVENTURE I HAVE BEEN HAVING!!!! QWHODAIDFUSDOIFU!!!
Seriously coming from months of quiet, internal, alone time- to landing in Salt Lake City with my soul sistah Shelly- it has been quite a ride. I really feel like each day is this incredible party, probably because I am constantly surrounded by such beautiful human being reflections. Well I started massage school on Tuesday. Such a good idea! So excited to be accelerating and learning so much so fast! After shelly and I got back from our road trip which was on Monday- we have been waking up just in time to get to school by 8 am. Yesterday was a powerful day.
So let me explain this in a bit more detail. Shelly and I have been vizualizing and holding our perfect house in our hearts and feeling the existance of this new opportunity as a reality. Currently we are living with 6 other people in a community house in Salt Lake. It is such a beautiful place here with a solar powered round greenhouse, a beautiful lush garden, bees, chickens, a huge yoga/movement/healing space, and super beautiful people. So we have everything we want except our own space and place to unpack anything that belongs to us. So it is crazy---- it could become annoying if we let it be, it could become a drama if we let it, we could be fustrated that our dream house hasnt yet magically appeared in the way we were expecting. BUT- I had a revelation that even this little amount of resistence to what is infront of me- by wishing I had my own space, my own corner, or a place to put and unpack my stuff- is blocking me from fully making the most of my current reality and situation. I could wish and wish and wish that I had my own room, that I had this and that and the other- so that I could then allow myself to settle into a routine- BUT no. I must create my heaven with what I have right here and now, with every ounce of flow and openness- letting go of all resistence. It is overwhelming when i think of everything I have/want to do: find a way to make money, find a place to live, homework study, massage school, artistic projects, butoh practices, my own personal routine which consists of meditation and yoga and sometimes running,..... it is crazy to be beginning a whole new life in a whole new city.
BUT I am so stoked!!!! It feels like a magnificent dream. One in which I am lucid dreaming. How can I be resistant to any of this? What am I truly lacking? In place of what I feel like I am lacking, I have an amazing community and love vibezzz surrounding me. What more could one really truly need other then the knowingness of how to be content with EACH MOMENT, the present, and trusting that all I need is provided for???
Right so why yesterday was amazing is because I just stopped. I turned to Shelly and I said Wow. I recognize I was stressing and saying unnecessarily that I was fustrated- wasn't helping anything other then to gratify my own ego and desires for what isn't present. I love those moments of instant clairity.
BABMMMMBB
Then I sang untill 2 am with 4 beautiful Goddesses- I channeled divine song. We did healing work on each other and could be verifed of the shift because one goddess could actually visually see auras and energy.
I release all blockages and fears. I allow divine source to flow through me. I open up to divine blissful SONG.
Creation is Awesome
Havin a blast,
Norianna
WHAT A GREAT AMAZING ADVENTURE I HAVE BEEN HAVING!!!! QWHODAIDFUSDOIFU!!!
Seriously coming from months of quiet, internal, alone time- to landing in Salt Lake City with my soul sistah Shelly- it has been quite a ride. I really feel like each day is this incredible party, probably because I am constantly surrounded by such beautiful human being reflections. Well I started massage school on Tuesday. Such a good idea! So excited to be accelerating and learning so much so fast! After shelly and I got back from our road trip which was on Monday- we have been waking up just in time to get to school by 8 am. Yesterday was a powerful day.
So let me explain this in a bit more detail. Shelly and I have been vizualizing and holding our perfect house in our hearts and feeling the existance of this new opportunity as a reality. Currently we are living with 6 other people in a community house in Salt Lake. It is such a beautiful place here with a solar powered round greenhouse, a beautiful lush garden, bees, chickens, a huge yoga/movement/healing space, and super beautiful people. So we have everything we want except our own space and place to unpack anything that belongs to us. So it is crazy---- it could become annoying if we let it be, it could become a drama if we let it, we could be fustrated that our dream house hasnt yet magically appeared in the way we were expecting. BUT- I had a revelation that even this little amount of resistence to what is infront of me- by wishing I had my own space, my own corner, or a place to put and unpack my stuff- is blocking me from fully making the most of my current reality and situation. I could wish and wish and wish that I had my own room, that I had this and that and the other- so that I could then allow myself to settle into a routine- BUT no. I must create my heaven with what I have right here and now, with every ounce of flow and openness- letting go of all resistence. It is overwhelming when i think of everything I have/want to do: find a way to make money, find a place to live, homework study, massage school, artistic projects, butoh practices, my own personal routine which consists of meditation and yoga and sometimes running,..... it is crazy to be beginning a whole new life in a whole new city.
BUT I am so stoked!!!! It feels like a magnificent dream. One in which I am lucid dreaming. How can I be resistant to any of this? What am I truly lacking? In place of what I feel like I am lacking, I have an amazing community and love vibezzz surrounding me. What more could one really truly need other then the knowingness of how to be content with EACH MOMENT, the present, and trusting that all I need is provided for???
Right so why yesterday was amazing is because I just stopped. I turned to Shelly and I said Wow. I recognize I was stressing and saying unnecessarily that I was fustrated- wasn't helping anything other then to gratify my own ego and desires for what isn't present. I love those moments of instant clairity.
BABMMMMBB
Then I sang untill 2 am with 4 beautiful Goddesses- I channeled divine song. We did healing work on each other and could be verifed of the shift because one goddess could actually visually see auras and energy.
I release all blockages and fears. I allow divine source to flow through me. I open up to divine blissful SONG.
Creation is Awesome
Havin a blast,
Norianna
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Hearts opening
Being here in my body is quite a wild ride. I am currently "road-tripping" and am in Bellingham, Washington visiting with my friend, Shelly's, brother. We both had a beautiful experience today of communing with nature. It begins to look really simple nowadays. I close my eyes. I drop into my heart. I experience. I grow long roots into mother Gaia and my skin becomes transparent, breathing life through its' cells. These veils seperating me from the outside world (or so it appears from the outside) are really really thin and dissapating. My sister is the store manager of a local metaphysical store. My brother is the artist in hidding who calls me an angel in blue converses. My best friend is a drunken 21st birthday girl who lets us sing her a birthday song on the streets. My neighbor is the guy with a body full of tatoos and a harley davidson who lets me ride on his back seat. My lover is the sun that sets over the washington sound and radiates his love into the depths of my soul. We are intricately connected. This much I know. Being in the flow is the way life force expresses itself most easily through my being. My heart sings with utter freedom as life force is being allowed to move freely through this body- radiating wherever I am. WE cannot judge anything by its cover. To each his own.
As I have been spending more time inside of a bar this week then I probably have in my whole life combined. It has been a blast, granted not my "thing", but it doesn't matter. I can still connect with people on the dance floor and inspire others to get up and shake their thing! How exhilirating! My heart just feels super full and ready to love whoever walks into my path. I love you all! All you beautiful expressions of divine! The gay drag queen, the loner in the corner, the bmx racer, the golf cart driver, the auto mechanic, the owner of Mcdonalds, the cashier, the grandmother....... we are all intricately connected. And with that my friends I will conclude and continue on my way!
As I have been spending more time inside of a bar this week then I probably have in my whole life combined. It has been a blast, granted not my "thing", but it doesn't matter. I can still connect with people on the dance floor and inspire others to get up and shake their thing! How exhilirating! My heart just feels super full and ready to love whoever walks into my path. I love you all! All you beautiful expressions of divine! The gay drag queen, the loner in the corner, the bmx racer, the golf cart driver, the auto mechanic, the owner of Mcdonalds, the cashier, the grandmother....... we are all intricately connected. And with that my friends I will conclude and continue on my way!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Slugs
Today my intention has been to connect into my heart space.
I was moved to journey through the woods.
These particular woods are super super magical. Literally a faerie realm.
Ferns, moss, redwoods, creek, fallen logs, twisty curves and bends, serinity
IT just feels so good to glide. Easily, smoothly, through time and space.
I found a tree nested on the edge of a decline. A simple dance of acknowladgement came through me.
I turned around.
There on the ground was a dark yellow fat slimy slow slug.
A simple dance of recognition came through me. I was transported into Slug Time.
Movement with the most graceful fluidity and stillness. Slugs are kings of patience- or rather their kingdom doesn't recognize the need for the word patience, and their fluid slow movement is all that is. All that is known.
My feet carried me to a lone bench. I sat. I breathed. Rather, Life Breathed Me.
I layed down.
A huge bird (not a vulture, not an eagle, probably not a hawk.... I don't know what it was) flew in a circle above my head and decided to perch in a tree above where I was laying. We had sweet moments of connection.
I continued walking.
Ridiculously SLOW SLOW SLOW.
When I move really slow my perception slows down. My sense of time stops. I am now existing in the woods according to wood time, according to the laws of eternal presence. I catch the intricate shadows of the sunlight tree dance. I let the contrasting colors, shapes, and deep silence wash over my whole being.
Oh. Ha. More SLLLUUUGGGSSS. A baby one. Aw. Later I ran across a big papa slug.
I tapped into the magical world of insects. A spider showed me how she runs across her own thread. The nats danced hovering in between molecules of sunlight... clustered in a group a clique, moving rapidly in and out of each other. A truly mesmerising dance.
Me and my big feet covered in plastic tennis shoes.
Soon spirit and those shoes carried me out and back into the world where houses and internet exist.
I was moved to journey through the woods.
These particular woods are super super magical. Literally a faerie realm.
Ferns, moss, redwoods, creek, fallen logs, twisty curves and bends, serinity
IT just feels so good to glide. Easily, smoothly, through time and space.
I found a tree nested on the edge of a decline. A simple dance of acknowladgement came through me.
I turned around.
There on the ground was a dark yellow fat slimy slow slug.
A simple dance of recognition came through me. I was transported into Slug Time.
Movement with the most graceful fluidity and stillness. Slugs are kings of patience- or rather their kingdom doesn't recognize the need for the word patience, and their fluid slow movement is all that is. All that is known.
My feet carried me to a lone bench. I sat. I breathed. Rather, Life Breathed Me.
A huge bird (not a vulture, not an eagle, probably not a hawk.... I don't know what it was) flew in a circle above my head and decided to perch in a tree above where I was laying. We had sweet moments of connection.
I continued walking.
Ridiculously SLOW SLOW SLOW.
When I move really slow my perception slows down. My sense of time stops. I am now existing in the woods according to wood time, according to the laws of eternal presence. I catch the intricate shadows of the sunlight tree dance. I let the contrasting colors, shapes, and deep silence wash over my whole being.
Oh. Ha. More SLLLUUUGGGSSS. A baby one. Aw. Later I ran across a big papa slug.
I tapped into the magical world of insects. A spider showed me how she runs across her own thread. The nats danced hovering in between molecules of sunlight... clustered in a group a clique, moving rapidly in and out of each other. A truly mesmerising dance.
Me and my big feet covered in plastic tennis shoes.
Soon spirit and those shoes carried me out and back into the world where houses and internet exist.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Police brutality versus freedom of expression
Aloha my friends.
Well now I am curious how long it would take before we are not allowed to write "love, peace, freedom, or truth" on blogs, emails, facebook, or just the internet. To be arrested for peacefully moving about the Jefferson Memorial is ABSURDITY at its finest. But we always knew the government was just there to keep us people in "control"- basically there are intricate systems in place to make sure the human race stays asleep and subserviant to the "higher races", or to the reptilian agenda. WHAT paradox. Pair of Socks. It really does seem like a light versus dark scenario. Good versus evil. Yet isn't it ALL at it's root eminating from the same creator, same source? Couldn't these polarities exist to create intense contrast and to show us beyond a doubt what we do desire and wish to create? None the less, it amazes me the complexity of this all. AND, the fact that my own personal life is free from the brutality of what a lot of the world is experiencing right now. There are over 6 billion mini universes.... we create our own worlds.
It is so enlightening to travel; we are able to expand our perceptions of our reality and experience different ideas, cultures, and even dimensions. This week (well last week) I traveled from a period of 4 days across 5 time zones (or howevermany). Tuesday morning I left Germany, Tuesday evening (subtract 6 hours from German time) I was in North Carolina and Friday morning found me in San Fransico. CRAZY.
Does anyone else feel like EVERYTHING that has previously happened is a dream??
AHohAHohAHoh. Wow. I was in Mexico for 6 months. I had some wild experiences. I was in Hawaii for 4 months I had some crazy awesome experiences. I lived in Europe for over a year. My mom left this dimension in 2006. I was born. I was in high school. I graduated. I danced. I trained. I was sick and healthy. I moved from Cali to N.c. I experienced oneness. I cried. I became a yoga teacher. I fell off a horse. I ate raw foods. I drove from germany to spain. Loved a mayan warrior once. Wrote my own poetry book and published it. Backpacked. Hitchiked. Tripped. Trusted. I met myself on the otherside of the mirror. I searched and found it. I gave and recieved. I fell down the rabbit hole.
And every day it seems like I am falling deeper. Deeper into the spiraling dreamspell of my life. My creation. Experiences enrich. Create this new ME!
Expression is life.
If police think they can repress life.
Perhaps life will overflow, bubble, and gush over the insignificant blockages to its freedom of expression. LOVE.
Live= Evil The paradox. Pair of Socks. We choose. We .........
Create.
Well now I am curious how long it would take before we are not allowed to write "love, peace, freedom, or truth" on blogs, emails, facebook, or just the internet. To be arrested for peacefully moving about the Jefferson Memorial is ABSURDITY at its finest. But we always knew the government was just there to keep us people in "control"- basically there are intricate systems in place to make sure the human race stays asleep and subserviant to the "higher races", or to the reptilian agenda. WHAT paradox. Pair of Socks. It really does seem like a light versus dark scenario. Good versus evil. Yet isn't it ALL at it's root eminating from the same creator, same source? Couldn't these polarities exist to create intense contrast and to show us beyond a doubt what we do desire and wish to create? None the less, it amazes me the complexity of this all. AND, the fact that my own personal life is free from the brutality of what a lot of the world is experiencing right now. There are over 6 billion mini universes.... we create our own worlds.
It is so enlightening to travel; we are able to expand our perceptions of our reality and experience different ideas, cultures, and even dimensions. This week (well last week) I traveled from a period of 4 days across 5 time zones (or howevermany). Tuesday morning I left Germany, Tuesday evening (subtract 6 hours from German time) I was in North Carolina and Friday morning found me in San Fransico. CRAZY.
Does anyone else feel like EVERYTHING that has previously happened is a dream??
AHohAHohAHoh. Wow. I was in Mexico for 6 months. I had some wild experiences. I was in Hawaii for 4 months I had some crazy awesome experiences. I lived in Europe for over a year. My mom left this dimension in 2006. I was born. I was in high school. I graduated. I danced. I trained. I was sick and healthy. I moved from Cali to N.c. I experienced oneness. I cried. I became a yoga teacher. I fell off a horse. I ate raw foods. I drove from germany to spain. Loved a mayan warrior once. Wrote my own poetry book and published it. Backpacked. Hitchiked. Tripped. Trusted. I met myself on the otherside of the mirror. I searched and found it. I gave and recieved. I fell down the rabbit hole.
And every day it seems like I am falling deeper. Deeper into the spiraling dreamspell of my life. My creation. Experiences enrich. Create this new ME!
Expression is life.
If police think they can repress life.
Perhaps life will overflow, bubble, and gush over the insignificant blockages to its freedom of expression. LOVE.
Live= Evil The paradox. Pair of Socks. We choose. We .........
Create.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Experiences in Rewind
So being in Germany for a month was an experience in of itself. It was there that I really became initated into MomoButoh Dance Company. Being that I didn't have the luxury of posting videos nor taking too many of them because of electronical differences between Europe and the USA, I am now ready to post some videos that were taken during my stay in Bonn, Germany. As Butoh has recently plopped into my life I am already noticing the differences in how I interact with my day and surroundings. Every moment is an opportunity for art, creation, and expansion. Butoh for me (as I am learning and trying to grasp what it really is...) at the moment is a way of life, a practice. It is another word for "improvisation in the presence of Now". It is a deep exploration of what is always present and there: we enable our bodies to interact with this presence-allowing movement and stillness to possess us.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Time: existance thereof or lackthereof?
Today I would like to comment on Time. Does anyone else notice what is happening? I don't even know if I can really put a finger on it. It is as if Time has molded. Weeks feel like a moment, months seem long enough but in retrospect it is all a blurr. It really does feel like the time warp matrix web that we have been stuck in for so long is altering. NOW. An interesting point to note on that subject. I have also been witnessing how my own perceptions of the world and ability to hold a higher frequency can be amplified or squashed depending on the type of people I am around. So then the way I deal with mundane things (although nothing is mundane) or lets say every day things- becomes more heavy, musome (a word?), harder somehow. BECAUSE: now my own energy has been greatly altered. Or maybe rather it is vibrating at a pretty normal rate but because I am now not currently around my 'kind' (my crystalline energetic refractor people- soul sistahs). So then I feel more 'stuck' so to say inside of this time illusion, material world illusion- then when I am surrounded by high vibrating beings. When I am around those that understand on a soul level why we are here (all of you indigos, starseeds, and the likes) then my energy battery/frequency battery is recharged and I am able to be in the world at a much lighter, higher frequency then I currently feel I am. YET..... it is all so good and so okay because like I have mentioned before there are the WOODS. Those plants and animals that never developed egos. They are there eminating pure divine love for all of us to soak in when we are aware and asking for it. Then I also recognize part of my work is to anchor down the light and be that light in EVERY and all situations. GOD that is fucking hard sometimes.
I so recognize the necesity of having soul food; having people who relate, get, and recharge your energetic core. I honor that necesity now more then ever... I am calling in all tribe, family, light workers to unite and create this collective family. As we are awakening we are recognizing we cannot do this alone. I feel that so strong. I NEED and desire my people. My tribe provides me with the deep acceptence, understanding, freedom, and power that feels so crucial to have right now.
So meshing back into the theme of Time. My feelings are that things are shifting sooooooooooo rapidly. Thus: it is extremely vital to stay grounded and continue honing in the highest frequency possible. Of course it becomes that much easier when all you attract around you are beings that understand the same. For those of us in situations where we are around people a lot who carry a lot of fear.... what can we do? Acknowladge it but not feed it??? Offer other possibilities? Let it roll off of our skin?? Then in my case it seems as if only TIME can really alter things. Time brings me in new locations. Time lets the sun set and my dreambody fly. Time allows for things to shift, yet it also allows for things to become hectic if not treated right.
So an oath, homage, toast, cheers to Time. To the paradox that it is and isn't. To the lessons it brings us. To the wrinkles it bestows if we so let it. To the time when there will cease to be linear mental time as we know it! I praise those days.... yet can only praise them through the contrast we are now living.
Aloha
Nori Bumble Bee
 |
| duality of reflections.... transparency |
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Düsseldorf with Auntie Andrea
Bwa. That is how they say it. Here in German speaking land ol' mighty. Today I was seen walking down the most expensive street in Düsseldorf (kinda like a warped verison of New York City's Soho).... quite interesting really. It probably never ceases to amaze me the kind of perversion that goes into adversising and consumerism society. How utterly IMPORTANT it is to wear the newest shoes, look fab, and gossip about nonsensical things. Ok. All my judgements. Or rather let me say observations.... We need the contrast in everything, don't we?
Yeah and after my aunt and I arrived in the big D, we found the photo shooting place inside a pretty fancy version of a mall. I was made up to be between glamorous and natural... haha does that exist=? I was taken into a room with many different wall flavors, chairs, and big lights. Then I got to play and shine! It is funnnnn to be in front of a camera, I know all wouldn't agree... but I think it was clear a long time ago that the camera is a good good friend of mine! After taking way too many fabulous glamour shots of miss. diesel, I picked out a few to take home. YEa, big exciting story I know! This is when pictures are really worth a thousand words!!!
As for my daily artistic practice.... hmmmm did a little free dance in a field inside the Düsseldorf park. Does french braiding my aunts' hair count? Well the day isn't over yet and I intend to wind down with a lovely artistic reflection of self drawn with 3 colored pencils, and I intend to dance out that present self I drew.
Also a very subtle tribute to Prunes. May you be there in cases when I need you most.
In light,
N
Yeah and after my aunt and I arrived in the big D, we found the photo shooting place inside a pretty fancy version of a mall. I was made up to be between glamorous and natural... haha does that exist=? I was taken into a room with many different wall flavors, chairs, and big lights. Then I got to play and shine! It is funnnnn to be in front of a camera, I know all wouldn't agree... but I think it was clear a long time ago that the camera is a good good friend of mine! After taking way too many fabulous glamour shots of miss. diesel, I picked out a few to take home. YEa, big exciting story I know! This is when pictures are really worth a thousand words!!!
As for my daily artistic practice.... hmmmm did a little free dance in a field inside the Düsseldorf park. Does french braiding my aunts' hair count? Well the day isn't over yet and I intend to wind down with a lovely artistic reflection of self drawn with 3 colored pencils, and I intend to dance out that present self I drew.
Also a very subtle tribute to Prunes. May you be there in cases when I need you most.
In light,
N
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Laying in a COW field admist dried poop
Hallelujiah!!! Don't even know how to spell that word. Great... Haha. The trilingual thing gets in the way sometimes. OK people just want to share that today was INCREDIBLE. Mostly the incredible part had to do with, again, being by myself.... and dum dum dum, walking through nature. The walk led me to a Hummoungousssss field (again ignore all spelling) where I am assuming cows usually graze and shit out cow patties. Next to this field is a bench overlooking the rolling green German hills. I immediately sank into a deep trance of sorts. First I let myself fall into a beautiful and honest meditation, I felt so clear and expansive: as if the outline of my body eventually faded away with the crisp breeze, and the witness me was just that: witnessing existence from closed eyelids. Opening my eyes was juicy: to just simply be and see the way wind blows through the hair of trees, the way green can be expressed 100 times and never be bored, the way I saw so much more in action then I heard (I wear hearing aids and during this walk I had none in). After about 15 minutes of peace on this lonely bench I made my way slowly down the path- befriending a black bird with a worm in it's mouth. I seriously started to believe I was being told to follow this bird because it never flew away.... then eventually it did- probably thinking I was stalking it.. haha. Because of my super sweet heart space I was able to immediately fall into honest dances with several trees. Just imagine a little fairy in the woods flittering about and watering the thirsty roots with energy love. It becomes like a sacred mission to be the only one in a forest at any given moment and to have a pretty open connection with a specific tree. I felt like I was the only one in the world who had ever given any attention to this particular being. So I was in essence watering it's roots with my presence, with my love. Yummy. What a freeing feeling. Just love it. Then...eventually even the fairies feel done with their work. I sleethed ( is that a word? if it isn't it is now!!) over to the fence which surrounded the huge green pasture and crawled under it. I frolicked over to where I was in a crease in the hills and felt pretty alone in the sense no one could really spot me. Then.... I layed in the petrified cow shit grass! YES! The sky was blue. The coulds were white. The chem trails where as present as ever. An occasional rumble ment a huge plane was flying over head, which really was the only noise other then silencio! When was the last time you looked at clouds without feeling like you had to be somewhere in 10 minutes? I became even more embeded in my heart trance. Laying on my back I felt like I was the Goddess of this hill, of my own universe! I felt like my mind was so intricately connected to the way the clouds formed their shapes. I seriously felt for a few moments that I was causing the clouds to disapear! Uhhh.... um.
After quite a many ol' minutes (though this is completly void of time remember) I decided to get up and dance ontop of this poop hill! Glorious. Sun = Shadows= cool mirror. I don't know of anything more impowering at this moment then what I did this afternoon. I was fully embodied as my Goddess/ Fairy self. I let the breast of Gaia become my trustworthy supporter. I let time become a lost friend. I accessed myself in my full power. I was able to stay and view existence from my heart instead of my mind. I wish this was obviously conveyed everytime I smile to strangers and they don't get any wrong messages. ( which I don't think is the case anyways).
I always hope to retain these feelings of utter connectedness... yet slowly it vanishes time and time again.
Traces remain.
In any case I am grateful for reminders and crisp clear breaths of fresh air. I am grateful for moments when silence becomes my ally and words are utterly useless... because then I can start to really breathe from my heart instead of programed mind stress gunk.
Namaste. I recognize the light within you as so it is within me. The same light that we all carry. Even trees and cow shit!
After quite a many ol' minutes (though this is completly void of time remember) I decided to get up and dance ontop of this poop hill! Glorious. Sun = Shadows= cool mirror. I don't know of anything more impowering at this moment then what I did this afternoon. I was fully embodied as my Goddess/ Fairy self. I let the breast of Gaia become my trustworthy supporter. I let time become a lost friend. I accessed myself in my full power. I was able to stay and view existence from my heart instead of my mind. I wish this was obviously conveyed everytime I smile to strangers and they don't get any wrong messages. ( which I don't think is the case anyways).
I always hope to retain these feelings of utter connectedness... yet slowly it vanishes time and time again.
Traces remain.
In any case I am grateful for reminders and crisp clear breaths of fresh air. I am grateful for moments when silence becomes my ally and words are utterly useless... because then I can start to really breathe from my heart instead of programed mind stress gunk.
Namaste. I recognize the light within you as so it is within me. The same light that we all carry. Even trees and cow shit!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Time musings...importance of Sun!
Are you wondering what time is exactly? Or noticing how days just run together so rapidly and a week still seems like a month, but at the same time only a moment's snapshot? Time has flown. It disapeared a while ago in my world. In my bubble. Instead of time- I now go by feeling. Or I let others stress about time while I sit back and watch patiently as the universe unfolds the next obvious step for me to take. Deep within me there is a part of me comforted knowing that I am EXACTLY where I NEED to BE at every possible instant in my day. Still, it trips me out big time. Nothing seems quite tangible- graspable. Like the heartbeat of Earth is quickening along with our footsteps... What are we racing towards? The new future that is head-on colliding with our burried-in-the-material-world-selves. This slow cosmic- (how can I say it is slow--- all relevance to fast and slow has been lost) evolution is knocking on our doors. It is riding every light beam from creator to my skin-- reminding me of the keys that I onced carried in full conciousness. Now it really feels like all I need is to bask in the warm sun, close my eyes, feel my heart, and breathe---- then whoosh I am there inside the truth. The tangible beingness and stillness that is ever-present. Yeah, that makes it sound like my days are spent in bliss. More often then not they are not.... but still I treasure the moments where I remember, and it is coming about more and more in my situation now where I remember best when I am by myself outside. In my heart, in the sunshine, I can embrace the paradox of time. Let it guide me and let it fly by me. Just a musing and dwelling before I pop into dreamworld tonight. But a lovely reflection to notice how when I am by myself I am usually 99% always in a higher vibration then when I am with people that cannot hold the same. Of course when I am with similar vibrating folks, the vibz just skyrocket and the whole planet feels our laughter! So bring on the fun, light, sun, goodness! Bless
Morning Musings and connections with weeds
Keeping this one short- Because time seems to always wanna run away with me- especially here at my grandmothers apartment in Germany. What a lovely way to wake up this morning though- go outside onto my small balcony and start my day off my breathing in the fresh new air. In MomoButoh we are doing the significant other practice where we find a plant or animal and connect in with it and then dance for it-with it. So here I am a fresh crisp monday morning welcoming the week by dancing my WEED dance. What a feeling to be pushed down by heavy concrete, yet have the courage to keep pushing your existance up and out between the cracks to bask in the sunlight you too deserve. Then, dancing the Chem-Trail Dance is quite heart warming. To see the insane amount of 'chemically polluted- chem trails' forever creating big X's in the sky- yet instead of getting upset about the insanity- I too can dance the X dance, the white in the blue sky dance, the confusion dance.
So... this is just how my day begins- and what a glorious way to affirm my existance, to mediate, create, express in my most vital element: MOVEMENT: YEAH. I am excited and ready to confront any challenges of the day with ease, grace, love, and compassion. So gonna shake my bootayyy!
So... this is just how my day begins- and what a glorious way to affirm my existance, to mediate, create, express in my most vital element: MOVEMENT: YEAH. I am excited and ready to confront any challenges of the day with ease, grace, love, and compassion. So gonna shake my bootayyy!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Media triggered poetic response
Media Triggered my Hands to Start Writting:
When I stare at a screen- flashing me moving images. My mind starts to hyperspeed.
No thoughts, only judgements escape my lips.
To what degree do I becomed programmed by all of this?
Allowing mass-media to filter through my brain like spaghetti through a drain.
Movie stars, Glamor shots, attempts to fit into the western slots.
Look at me.
I'm so pretty.
My body is my soul, and I'm worth a lot of gold.
It's hard to see superficiality replayed in rapid speed, untill my mind starts to believe....
What calculates worth, talent and fame- the masses agree to an extent or you wouldn't see it on stage.
My mind is a precious jewel strewn upon jaggered stones,
it radiates in comparisson with the souls that are droned.
Not to play judgement games or ridicule the rest-
all of us have equal chance to make ourselves the best.
It's just I know I'd never sell my worth for the flashy paper bills,
no matter if they come with pink mini frills.
My conciousness is heightened and there is no way to back down,
So if anything I'd be onstage spreading love around.
The messages I am bringing forth today
are written in galaxies many lightyears away...
And so my chapter ends today with a grin,
Someone told me, it doesn't matter if we win.
the game of life has a big secret many don't know.
It is not about what we do, where we are, or where we go.
It only ever matters how we treat each moment.
When they come dressed up I've been taught to use discernment.
With the rapid images flashing through my mind,
The messages are reveiling their kind
What subtle warnings or codes were stored in my brain's filing cabnit,
to become unlocked in the future when I know what to do with it.
Hyperspeed becomes tranquility, in the meditative trance of TV zone-ality.
Circle and loops- to go so fast it reverts to stillness,
The paradox of perception-
when we don't ask questions,
how de we know we even exist as individuals if our knowladge isn't fought for,
rather boughten through loans, inserted through textbooks, and sold at stores?
All I am saying is that I am staying,
a while longer,
to finally uncover,
the truth of this mystery that lies so active within our history
and waits to be unlocked by the power of our thoughts
when we decide to unite
by the desire to give up fight
SO the day will come when our TV screens will refect harmony
or our brains will be wired differently
and infinite love will be the entertainer-
fully soothing all brainwaves
and activating our DNA
so we can slowly mutate
and transcent this dreamstate.!!!
Written May 14th, 2011
When I stare at a screen- flashing me moving images. My mind starts to hyperspeed.
No thoughts, only judgements escape my lips.
To what degree do I becomed programmed by all of this?
Allowing mass-media to filter through my brain like spaghetti through a drain.
Movie stars, Glamor shots, attempts to fit into the western slots.
Look at me.
I'm so pretty.
My body is my soul, and I'm worth a lot of gold.
It's hard to see superficiality replayed in rapid speed, untill my mind starts to believe....
What calculates worth, talent and fame- the masses agree to an extent or you wouldn't see it on stage.
My mind is a precious jewel strewn upon jaggered stones,
it radiates in comparisson with the souls that are droned.
Not to play judgement games or ridicule the rest-
all of us have equal chance to make ourselves the best.
It's just I know I'd never sell my worth for the flashy paper bills,
no matter if they come with pink mini frills.
My conciousness is heightened and there is no way to back down,
So if anything I'd be onstage spreading love around.
The messages I am bringing forth today
are written in galaxies many lightyears away...
And so my chapter ends today with a grin,
Someone told me, it doesn't matter if we win.
the game of life has a big secret many don't know.
It is not about what we do, where we are, or where we go.
It only ever matters how we treat each moment.
When they come dressed up I've been taught to use discernment.
With the rapid images flashing through my mind,
The messages are reveiling their kind
What subtle warnings or codes were stored in my brain's filing cabnit,
to become unlocked in the future when I know what to do with it.
Hyperspeed becomes tranquility, in the meditative trance of TV zone-ality.
Circle and loops- to go so fast it reverts to stillness,
The paradox of perception-
when we don't ask questions,
how de we know we even exist as individuals if our knowladge isn't fought for,
rather boughten through loans, inserted through textbooks, and sold at stores?
All I am saying is that I am staying,
a while longer,
to finally uncover,
the truth of this mystery that lies so active within our history
and waits to be unlocked by the power of our thoughts
when we decide to unite
by the desire to give up fight
SO the day will come when our TV screens will refect harmony
or our brains will be wired differently
and infinite love will be the entertainer-
fully soothing all brainwaves
and activating our DNA
so we can slowly mutate
and transcent this dreamstate.!!!
Written May 14th, 2011
poems of sorts
Written May 15th, 2011:
She Danced.
Maybe this will be the day that I choose.
Today I danced.
Waiting at the bus station.
I was plugged into my music streaming from Africa to my ears.
Cars were parked at red lights watching a blonde girl in a 70's skirt and tennis shoes move to the beat that inspired her.
She was I.
I am her.
That girl.
She inspires you.
You can't help but to smile when she spins, arms out-stretched soaking in the sun in the midst of a concrete jungle. You think- 'she is brave for being free- free to be herself'. I am She.
And I say maybe today is the day that you choose.
Next time we pass and our eyes meet will you hold my gaze knowingly?
Could we share our secret with such rapture, that I could walk away glowing, only knowing that now you are that much more free.... to blow away with the wind if she sings to you.
Like she sings to me.
The way I spit words from this pen is like unleashing racing horses from their pens, all lined up and ready to run though masses of brainwashed citizens- to leave the words empty of meaning. Not knowing where this source of inspiration is coming from other then the raw squeezing of my heart valve, circulating the minutes through my veins. Counting down to existence of 'no-time' a moment englufed within its matrix, a web of dew woven into a drop. Empty out the mind, heart, soul- fragmented onto paper, the days become like an old record player skipping about in the head replaying, yearning, erasing. (Eating out the forgotten tradgedies- the strawberries and cream of cremation ceremonies.) When I can't seem to love, some more food goes down the valve- filling up the pieces of my forgotten selves- Struggling like the record player without batteries: pieces of my browken dewed-web-matrix get caught in the blood getting pumped through my heart getting recirculated through each new minute untill I slam down a poem with a pen.
Written May 11th, 2011 Bad Godesberg, Germany
Im tired.
I'm so tired. Tired of spitting out useless words reminding myself of what I don't know and the truths' that I've forgotten.
I am tired of relooping into the same patterns and habits only screaming blindly- to be chopped and cremated into compost.
Why doesn't enlightenment knock upon my door like a recognizable stranger handing me a silver key to unlock the chains I carry?
Maybe tired isn't the right word, but I feel old and young, innocent and raped of some stardust I used to soley be made of.
Where are the triumphing horns of an angel band to wake me up in the morning?
At least can't I remain creatively inspired by the raw motion of life all the time?
I am tired of the reminders I see plastered around this town: that my art is young, and can't grow old unless it lives.
So when I do walk and fall into natures silent conversations- I am finally tired enough
to start dancing with my new friend: Mr. Thorn Shrub.
He feeds me the right attention for the right minute,
and is probably laughing creduoulsly- hopefully rather grateful a gypsy gone civilized has made sense at last!
Did I say I am tired?
It is fucking tiring to hide behind smoke veils, creaing a real hologram of intent to boil behind.
The day is approaching when my water will slither over and disipate this 'smoke' me and
the illusionary, or so it seems- rather pointless way of interacting in the video game called life.
Don't get me wrong.
I am full on who I am...
Life can just be so hallarious to imprision our galactically gree soul-selves into this MEGA-tastic machine called the body.
Yeah. So I am tired...
Of indentifiying with all of this shizzzzzzz
Why can't I wake up one morning next to Enlightenment stroking my hairline, whispering 'I love you' into my heart?
Who says I can't?
I am tired of these words and ideas that tie me into a complicated puzzle of fractured selves- each living out spontaneous simultaneous hazzardous lives.
I am tired of feeling seperated....
My mind from my heart from my gut from my ISNESS.
Lets talk buisness. I am here and alive for reasons spectaculour and I am tired cause my ego shot my angel wings into puzzle pieces.
These are the pieces I use to build my fairy-tale house with, yet when the big bad wolf blows it will tumble and my security along with it. So I'm tired of reconstructing fragile houses and letting them shatter.
I'm tired that I don't have reminders of who I am if I take away the name.
Now...
I realized long ago this is all a cycle matrix game- but I'm telling BIG MAMA I'm tired and I wanna go home!
She Danced.
Maybe this will be the day that I choose.
Today I danced.
Waiting at the bus station.
I was plugged into my music streaming from Africa to my ears.
Cars were parked at red lights watching a blonde girl in a 70's skirt and tennis shoes move to the beat that inspired her.
She was I.
I am her.
That girl.
She inspires you.
You can't help but to smile when she spins, arms out-stretched soaking in the sun in the midst of a concrete jungle. You think- 'she is brave for being free- free to be herself'. I am She.
And I say maybe today is the day that you choose.
Next time we pass and our eyes meet will you hold my gaze knowingly?
Could we share our secret with such rapture, that I could walk away glowing, only knowing that now you are that much more free.... to blow away with the wind if she sings to you.
Like she sings to me.
The way I spit words from this pen is like unleashing racing horses from their pens, all lined up and ready to run though masses of brainwashed citizens- to leave the words empty of meaning. Not knowing where this source of inspiration is coming from other then the raw squeezing of my heart valve, circulating the minutes through my veins. Counting down to existence of 'no-time' a moment englufed within its matrix, a web of dew woven into a drop. Empty out the mind, heart, soul- fragmented onto paper, the days become like an old record player skipping about in the head replaying, yearning, erasing. (Eating out the forgotten tradgedies- the strawberries and cream of cremation ceremonies.) When I can't seem to love, some more food goes down the valve- filling up the pieces of my forgotten selves- Struggling like the record player without batteries: pieces of my browken dewed-web-matrix get caught in the blood getting pumped through my heart getting recirculated through each new minute untill I slam down a poem with a pen.
Written May 11th, 2011 Bad Godesberg, Germany
Im tired.
I'm so tired. Tired of spitting out useless words reminding myself of what I don't know and the truths' that I've forgotten.
I am tired of relooping into the same patterns and habits only screaming blindly- to be chopped and cremated into compost.
Why doesn't enlightenment knock upon my door like a recognizable stranger handing me a silver key to unlock the chains I carry?
Maybe tired isn't the right word, but I feel old and young, innocent and raped of some stardust I used to soley be made of.
Where are the triumphing horns of an angel band to wake me up in the morning?
At least can't I remain creatively inspired by the raw motion of life all the time?
I am tired of the reminders I see plastered around this town: that my art is young, and can't grow old unless it lives.
So when I do walk and fall into natures silent conversations- I am finally tired enough
to start dancing with my new friend: Mr. Thorn Shrub.
He feeds me the right attention for the right minute,
and is probably laughing creduoulsly- hopefully rather grateful a gypsy gone civilized has made sense at last!
Did I say I am tired?
It is fucking tiring to hide behind smoke veils, creaing a real hologram of intent to boil behind.
The day is approaching when my water will slither over and disipate this 'smoke' me and
the illusionary, or so it seems- rather pointless way of interacting in the video game called life.
Don't get me wrong.
I am full on who I am...
Life can just be so hallarious to imprision our galactically gree soul-selves into this MEGA-tastic machine called the body.
Yeah. So I am tired...
Of indentifiying with all of this shizzzzzzz
Why can't I wake up one morning next to Enlightenment stroking my hairline, whispering 'I love you' into my heart?
Who says I can't?
I am tired of these words and ideas that tie me into a complicated puzzle of fractured selves- each living out spontaneous simultaneous hazzardous lives.
I am tired of feeling seperated....
My mind from my heart from my gut from my ISNESS.
Lets talk buisness. I am here and alive for reasons spectaculour and I am tired cause my ego shot my angel wings into puzzle pieces.
These are the pieces I use to build my fairy-tale house with, yet when the big bad wolf blows it will tumble and my security along with it. So I'm tired of reconstructing fragile houses and letting them shatter.
I'm tired that I don't have reminders of who I am if I take away the name.
Now...
I realized long ago this is all a cycle matrix game- but I'm telling BIG MAMA I'm tired and I wanna go home!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Germany and Butoh blessings
Oh wow the inspiration never stops. Thank you to Momo and the company for holding such a solid framework within to allow myself the freedom to explore dancing with life!!! Visit http://www.momobutoh.blogspot.com/ for the blog of the company... I want to share with those of you that don't know what this is about... Basically in my own journey this is the next step- a way for me to integrate my desire to be and create art, into my every day life. Butoh in this form is pretty simple- an act of presence- a meditation- a means of connecting and becoming here and now with your surroundings. For example today in the windy hills of Bad Godesberg, Germany- I stood on my balcony and had an intimate encounter with a pine bush. The sun suddenly popped out behind the clouds and next thing I know I am dancing with the suns radiance- feeling through the depth of my being how alive my interaction can be between suns light rays and my physical moving body. What a delicious feeling to soak it in like that. Continuing my butoh practice I went walking and ended up kind of suddenly in a cementary. OO.... what interesting energy there- Old old tombstones, and towering drapping trees. I kept walking uphill stopping randomly to imitate a roseshrup or a statue. I then found myself inside of a small church on the hillside and stopped inside to meditate a bit, before I left I busted out a dance in response to the repression -- type energy I felt there.... nothing quite like dancing in an empty church imagining the priest or pope or whomever pretending to frown but deep down surpressing a child like giggle. REALLY... every one can do this. Take a moment out of your day to explore your enviornment with awe and freshness. Maybe drinking your tea becomes a moment of affection and gratitude, or perhaps putting on a shirt can become its own engaging dance! I am excited to keep plugging butoh (or random acts of presence through dance) into my own daily life! Who how..... and the fun never stops even though sometimes it may seem that way.... I am blessed, Namaste.
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