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Saturday, January 18, 2014

Abundance mindset shifting with sickness

I am infinitely abundant. I choose to live life in the highest vibration possible.

I am smack dab in the middle of releasing a whole bunch of SHANNIGANS. It is interesting how being physically ill tends to clear a lot in my life. On Thursday 2 nights ago, I underwent a powerful medicine journey and probably went deeper into the matrix of reality then I have ever gone before. This is literally what I wrote on a piece of paper to set the intention for my trip right before. " I resolve to allow the plant spirit medicine to dissolve anything holding me back in any way from creating and maintaining high abundance. I let the energies of tonight show me new aspects/ deeper aspects of myself I need to work on and change. Letting go of any lack, fear, uncertainty mentality." Low and behold I go to sleep and wake up the next day pretty sick with heavy body aches and a fever. Today I feel about the same- just resting and now pondering as I write this, how can this sickness be related to my journey? In any case it is teaching me to totally let go and surrender- because that is ALL I can do. This weekend would have been a super abundant weekend with a sweet massage gig at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, UT. But you know what? Other people get to have that abundance. Debilitating Sickness seems to always come at a trying time for me. The chance that I do have to make some solid money just slips away- not so easy when you have 200 dollars to your name. Why is it that I can have thousands of dollars in my bank account one week and a few weeks later it is all gone? Of course money comes and goes- that is what it is meant for. But I am honestly over and done with this pattern. I am ready and capable of keeping many many dollars in my bank account- enough so that I have a vacation fund, an emergency fund, a savings fund, and something that goes towards investments. So part of this healing journey feels like a deep purging of belief systems and clearing space in my physical and mental body for the new "programs" I get to be running. These new programs are nothing but the highest vibration possible. I am infinitely abundant in every way: in love, in friendship, in money, in food sources, in my home space, in my choices, in my freedom, in my career...etc. I am truly excited to start this new process. Starting now. I am excited to play with the matrix we call reality. As I experienced myself as the divine creator feminine Goddess on Thursday night, I am excited to play with manifestation and creative action. Anything is possible; that I experience and know first hand from medicine journeys to life experience. I am the creator and the destroyer of myself.

I am excited and ready to start living in a high abundance mindset and lifestyle, to live with class and style, freedom and creativity. And who ever said anything had to be hard? I am open to this abundance coming from anywhere, even the lottery!!!

So these are just musings I felt like sharing. It is good to go global with my thoughts sometimes. Any comments or opinions are always appreciated.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Unearthed errie poem

So I have been visiting in Germany for the past week- I stay another week here with my darling Grandmother before I fly back to Salt Lake City, Utah. I flipped through a copy of my self-published poetry book last week that lays so pround on my Grandmother's altar. I came across this particular poem which I would like to share. It was written long before my mother passed away, and yet it was totally something that should have been written after the fact. Even the line about a 'silent rain dropping on a shattered roof' is so coincidental. The night she passed away I remember lying on the couch listening and making note of the rain; it indeed was silent rain because of the heavyness and silence that lingered around the home. So here I share this with the world. The rawness of my emotion is clear for all to read. I share this because maybe you too have been through the loss of a loved one and can relate.

You are my heart
I had to lose my heart to know
You are my soul

A silent rain
Dropping on the shattered roof
The tears, washing my face
An emptyness
Something is missing inside of me

How could I go on like this?
A deep pain is inside, calling for a way out
Everything I had is suddenly gone
The structure is broken

I didn't want to loose you
The tears, can you feel my pain?
A hollow space
Needs desperately to be filled

Sometimes we can be
 A glimpse of what is on the other side
A Face, a grin, a hint
An Angel is coming for me

A part of my soul is lost
You took it with you
You're my lifeline
Gave me birth and nurtured me
I am sure it is the same for you

I will love again
You are my heart
How could you walk away
I was not ready to let you go
you are my soul
I had to loose it to know

Bursting through the light
An angel is coming for me!

- My grandmother and I are unsure of the exact date this was written, but for sure sometime in the latter part of 2005 when I was 15 years old. The date my grandmother has on the back is December 9, 2005. My mother passed away March 23, 2006. I intellectually had NO idea  that she was as sick as she was or that she was ANYWHERE close to dying. That is what makes this poem so interesting. It truly was my subconscious speaking through the pen. Apparently some higher part of myself knew this was coming. Yet I don't even remember reading the poem after I wrote it, only after my mom passed did I find this poem again and marvel at what I had pre-empted.

Anyways goes to show the power of free-form writting. Let whatever is inside of you emerge on paper unhindered by the conscious mind. If you practice this even just once, you may find things that surprise you.

Blessings from Germany


Thursday, August 9, 2012

moving grounding so BLESSED

Whew what a last few days! It is so refreshing to be able to say I have a home with my lover! Finally for however long is necessary/ or that we feel like staying there, we have our own adorable cottage. It is in a prime location in Salt lake city- close to everything important and within close walking distance to the main park in Salt Lake. It is a month to month situation yet we both feel like at this point we want to stay there through the winter. The front yard is literally the backyard of the homeowner- with beautiful sunflowers and lavender growing abundantly. Hopefully in the next week Ronna (the homeowner) can complete the healing room and we can solidify the moving in process. I love it! Together Phoenix and I have the potential to offer a holistic healing service complete with alchemical/astrological health consultation, bodywork, specialized exercise routine, nutrition, tinctures, body balancing advice- ect. Regardless, I have every intention of having regular clientele for my rockin' massage practice!

Being back in Salt lake is great. It feels more than good to stay somewhere for a longer amount of time. It is super crazy how being in the most amazing relationship - is altering my desires. I am much more content to settle down and start homesteading and creating roots- I would have not guessed that was coming so soon. Yet I know throughout my life adventures will be aplenty- I am just coming to truly understand the importance of grounding before I start flying.

I also started an online forum today which I hope it grows it is called
and is intended for like minded- like vibrational matches to brainstorm together to create our dream community. We want to be off the grid and create our own way of living. More to come later as I start to draft out my own blueprint!

All in all I a feel extremely blessed and satisfied in a way completely new to me.



Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Doing it

Sometimes life catches up to you. What the fuck does that even mean? I am currently in Carolina de Norte le old Chapel Thrill typing this from my room of many many years. Life is revolving and evolving so beautifully. I originally guesstimated I might be in North Carolina until August 10-15? Turns out about a week ago I was scanning my emails and my eye caught an email from the Master Class series I had been dancing back in Salt Lake. It was an invitation to take a two week dance intensive for 1/2 the tuition price. Wow I thought- crazy- I had been wanting to dance and was even contemplating going to New York for a week or so to just go crazy and be in the dance atmosphere again. So I jumped on it- naturally after feeling it all out- I am returning to Salt Lake this Saturday the 21st of July. I will be staying with a beautiful dancer friend of mine for the two weeks I am in the workshop. Meanwhile my boyfriend and I can look for a place to more or less temporarily live until our vision starts physically manifesting. I am stunned, honored, and thrilled to be moving back to Salt Lake City especially under the circumstances that are now arising. There is soooooo much momentum in the air, it does feel like I am stepping into a project/vision that is universal. I am only acting as a channel and catalyst for whatever it is God (great powerful forces of the universe, eternal love, substitute your own metaphor**) wants to see happen. Phoenix and I have this vision of creating a space where Alchemy, Movement, and Learning can take place.  We want a building that can contain enough space for: a big movement space/stage, alchemy lab, healing room, yoga space, commercial kitchen, greenhouses, gardens, chickens, residential area ie: bedrooms. I am so honored to be co-creating this vision into reality. It is a space where people can take workshops, retreats, possibly even work-exchange, or healing time. This center is a community and a way for community to build around avenues of transformation and consciousness. I am stoked- it all feels so good and right to be grounding out for a while to really develop my own faculties. I am really creating space now to start letting whatever it is I am here to create/teach come forth. Perhaps it is my own movement/healing modality that will develop and I am choosing to focus on its birthing process right now. I also see ritual dance theater happening where audience members sit in a circle and actively hold space for the dancers in the middle expressing their true raw stories through movement and other means of expression. I am very much so in an inspired and creatively rich time in my life. I see so clearly all of this taking place it isn't even a question. I will also be working on performing and creating epic multimedia performances. I want to dance and work with digital projections and texture mapping, especially to create transforming shows that leave the observers slightly more englightened than before. There is overall an abundance of projects I will be stepping back into when I arrive in Utah. For now it is always simply this present moment and the flow that creates dreams into reality. I have gotten pretty dang good at following my heart and gut- intuition. I am happy to be dancing again and get my body used to that concept. Yay go universal life flow- way to blow my own mind constantly at how syncronistic everything seems to be. Way to open up my heart and match the perfect synergistic harmonious partner in my life- which is now turning out to be a necessary union in order to manifest this collective vision from the balance of the masculine and feminine energies.
Until further notice,
Follow your bliss,
The only time is now,

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Healing process

Healing process.

I thought I was in for a week or so of pure torturous pain and feeling uncomfortable in my skin. As it turns out surgery was not even half as bad as I had expected. Swallowing of course hurt but not to the extent that I was used to from previous infected tonsils. I was loaded on pain meds so I don’t know how bad it would have ACTUALLY been without medications- but of course I am content to never know. I never had a fever, felt slightly nauseated only a few mornings because I was taking pain meds ever 4 hours during the night without taking a bite to eat with the pill…J Basically I was content. I still am content. It has been a solid week since surgery and I feel slightly normal. The worst pain I’m experiencing currently is the tea tree oil seeping into my warts that I have covered with saran wrap. HAHA life. We expect the worst and the best comes out of it. Right- now I wouldn’t say that is a universal law….

I would attribute a lot of my success to a few things in particular. I have been wearing a necklace by Buddha Mayitraya consisting of a crystal with gold wire wrapping and magnets (god consciousness frequency tool 100%). Since wearing it I have noticed a general overall peacefulness and contentment with each given moment. So prior going into surgery I was calm, relaxed, loved, fully supported, and at ease. Second I have been able to maintain a lot of fluids throughout the process including fresh carrot, beet, celery, and green juices. I don’t know what to attribute to my healing but everything that has been influential in the process. A major realization was that throughout the process I have been completely and utterly loved and supported. Being in a state of love and receptivity throughout has been extremely blissful and conducive to my healing.

So I’d go through it again- this experience has been lovely and deeply healing on many levels. Of course it sucks having raw throats and no bowel evacuations for a week--J but like I’ve said, it’s all worth it. Especially since the doctors reported that there was some weird scarring on the tonsils, which they’ve sent into the pathology lab for further testing; another sign confirming my decision.

Furthermore timing of things seem to have an effect on the outcome. I was orginially scheduled for thursday May 17th. My dad had a flight to come out and take care of me- everything was set- I was set on surgery. The monday of the week of surgery- I came across information that completely resonated with me- so I decided to cancel surgery to try out this method. I let my dad know about my
descion to cancel yet he was still excited to come out and take a week long vacation with me. That Tuesday night I get another phone call from him telling me his flight was just cancelled. WHAT??? Total syncronisities everywhere..... dum dum dum
 Nonetheless that following Sunday I became infected again with this lovely bacteria ever pervading within my tonsils. I decided well lets just do it. My boyfriend reassured me that throughout the process he would be there with me doing everything in his power to make it as easy, fun, and comfortable for my speedy recovery. Ok we thought :) it would at the very least be a pretty intimate bonding experience. I rescheduled surgery for that Thursday hoping that the infection I currently had would subside enough to do it through taking antibiotics again. Thursday morning came about bright and early,  7:15 was my appointment- I felt light, great, and fully present. My friend Tawnie showed up at the hospital as well and definitely helped set the mood by bringing laughter and the utmost positive spirits with her. The trippyest thing was going down on anethesia. I heard the doctor say ok you've got about 25 seconds- but before second 8 I was out black. I remember having a slight dream right before a nurse said my name to bring me back to conciousness: "Norianna can you hear me?" Bam- all of a sudden I was back to reality though I couldn't for the life of me, open my eyes. It was such a wierd feeling to know that I was out of body- out of conciousness- for 30 minutes meanwhile surgeons took out an organ of mine. CRAZY!! Anyways from there on it was recovery time. I was in a way fortunate to have been on oxycodone because the pain was completely tolerable... (helpful hints for future cases of tonsilectomy for any of you!!) So there you have it a very very brief and concise description of my last week and then some.

As always I am ever grateful for life and all of it's miraculous miracles it bestows upon me!! I am soooooo amazed currently at my reflections- I am able to see myself more and more clearly for the pure essence that I am through looking at all of my close friends and relationships. The strong, empowered, wise, concious, loving, solid, creative, visionary people that I am constantly surrounded with surely says a lot about who I am as well. It is such an honor to see myself through everyone elses eyes- and I am ever humbled.


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Surgery and Unity

So wow- I tend to wait until things build up and build up before I explode onto these blogging pages. There is so much I would love to share. First of all I just rescheduled a tonsilectomy for this thursday- after already having in scheduled for last thursday and cancelling because of bizarre cirumstances. It does feel good even though its strange enough to think about cutting out a loved part of my precious body. There is some intense bacteria invasion that my body hasn't been able to get rid of for the last year- The reason I had cancelled last week was because there was an opportunity to fully cure my tonsil case through the use of state of the art alchemy- tailored to my astrological influences. Yet of course Sunday I contracted this bacteria again and Im not in the most strong physical state. For reasons yet to be discovered I was supposed to cancel last week. All I can do is to trust continually in this divine process of healing. My dad was also supposed to fly out last wednesday- and late tuesday night he got a call from his airline saying his flight was cancelled- all the more auspicious.

So if all goes well- and is in perfect order I will be having the first surgery of my life this thursday. I am so ready because as I am writting this- my right tonsil is pretty f****** swollen and I am so ready to be healthy for years on an end.

What else has been happening? Well I constantly make plans and melt them away as I see something else is taking place. And now what is exactly happening? Health and healing on all levels. I have been calling in a divine masculine partner- someone who can hold their power as a God and compliment my intrinsic Goddess. Guess what? He has completely and fully arrived!! Again and again I see the perfect timing of the universe- it is almost like I can never make a wrong desicion because I am so guided the whole way. There is such magic that I am witnessing as two people who are completely in love with themselves come together. When the man can fully hold his divine masculine and the woman can fully hold her divine feminine- a true harmonious unity takes place. This is the new earth that we are birthing. I feel so honored to be leading this birthing process in my own way. I see as I continue living my truth and being myself to the fullest- how powerful of an effect it has on people everywhere. I feel like I am rewritting the paradigm of relationships right now. What does it mean to be fully served as a goddess, what does it mean to be loved unconditionally, what does it mean to honor the masculine so fully that I see the intrinsic nature of the universe playing out between us? Yet more than anything the only way I can see this happening for others - or the fact that I can even experience this magic now- is because both of us have done a lot of internal work and self-awareness work. Everything external has an internal origin. Unity within myself can create an external example of it- ect.

So yummy stuff. I am infinitely grateful for this life I live and the lessons I learn each and every day. I am sure surgery will test my physicality to a whole new level- yet even knowing I will be so well taken care of eases any stress or anxiety.

As far as after Salt Lake city- don't even ask right now. I have had about 3 major plans of action in the last few months each of them falling away as life keeps presenting new opportunities.
All I can do is maintain presence and keep checking in.

Loving you.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Ohh... Wow. I am official. Well it has been since March 3rd that I passed the NCE (national certification exam for massage and bodywork)... that defines me as a licensed body worker! Whoohoooo! I made business cards today and am excited to spread the love!
I actually put this blog on my business card hoping to create an actual blog with legit information and inspiring news in the near future- instead of a more personal basis.

So starting on that note.
Please check out these websites for your own information and awakening! (friend's company starting up now!!)

There is a responsibility for us all to awaken. Here and now. What type of environment or people do you surround yourself with on a daily basis. Is it one of love and support- one that makes you feel amazing? Or is it one that leaves you feeling weird, empty, in dissonance- creating more drama then necessary in your life?

What are your dreams? What are your hopes, your visions? When you leave this planet how would you have liked to leave your imprint, your impression?

When are you going to start living the life you want to live, the life you deserve to live, the life of freedom and abundance? Maybe you already are??!! Amazing. IF not now though, when?

Especially in this day and age. Cycles of "time" are becoming more intense and shorter- causing what we think to appear in manifestation quicker and quicker. It has always been the time to activate on your truth- but right NOW is the time more than ever in history.

What about me? How can I even be writing this? I am 21- yet so what. My truths are super clear to me, my intuition is strong, and my history of studying everything consciousness related started way young. WE all know what is inherently true to us- it doesn't matter if our truths differ slightly- but I believe essentially we all know our foundation in divine love. How our journey looks to get back home is the incredible magic of this universe. It is like the universe playing out every conceivable option in existence through our individual lives- yet ultimately it doesn't matter what you look like or what occupation you find yourself doing. Our mission is more or less the same. Love. Can we return home to love? How do we love. I am speaking thus; of an unconditional love- not the commercial conditional love that disappears when you break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend. 

That is my journey. How can I make an impact in the positive wherever I am? Whether it be a smile at the cash register, looking a stranger in the eyes, sharing what I have with others.... I try.
And isn't that great? We get to try. We get to fail. We get to try again. Well shoots- every lifetime is a step closer to the ultimate goal of returning home. We are constantly failing, trying, and remembering.

So. End of rant. As far as I am concerned. I love life. Life loves me. It is a perfect mirror reflection!