Monday, June 22, 2015

Surrender into this: And Eco-Sexual Memoir

As I breathe from a space of calm, collected, serene, clarity- I am sensing incredible shifts and spaciousness that has arised within me over the last week through my experience at Surrender EcoSex Convergence. 

I was living on the earth, sleeping on the earth, being bitten and loved by the earth. I walked through fire embodied, burning away falsity, burning through edges. I embraced water through the sweat of my tears. I merged with air through the space between kisses, through the exchange of breath through passion. I became more fully me. I became more fully me. I became.....


Earth moved in me. Earth is the stability in my communication with my partner. In the space that he holds for me, like a rock, like the ground beneath my feet- I can trust to be held on the path I walk. 
Earth asked for our healing, for our sacrifice. For our bodily fluids to seep into her flesh for an opportunity to write a new story- one that is free of chains and abuse, one that understands sovereignty. 
Earth understands our primal nature. That we are her children, her animals, her flesh. Mother-Lover; her prevailing intelligence dances through my cells, for we are one. I love my body like I love Mother-Nature, Mother-Lover. I love her like I love myself. It is my utmost responsibility to learn to be the best lover of our Holy Mother that I can. Earth spoke through me. She sighs as I sing, she screams as I come, she remembers as I dance. 

I am grounded in myself enough to trust in the process of falling. 
That edge, way out there at the end of the path where Earth meets Air, breaking off onto a precipice where the only thing below is the unknown. Falling is where we grow wings to help us soar even higher then we ever knew possible. Falling through those edges, I trust in my Body to help ground me home, Earth. 

Earth meets Water when communication flows, when all desires are spoken, all boundaries are clear, and all intentions are heard. The balance of stability and familiarity with the feminine waters of change- Water has arrived. Waterfalls pour over my naked body, taking with all old patterns, beliefs, and expectations. Water cleanses these debris with the certainty of the divine feminine; wild in her chaos. Wild in her passion, and free in her communication, grounded within the flow of full freedom of expression. Earth meets water where love meets freedom. Earth meets water when passion meets expression. Earth meets water in the sacred dance of masculine and feminine. 

Water is the dance of life. From water we are born. Water weaves spirit into flesh. Water weaves intuition into manifestation. I feel water, her magical power to unleash emotion. Her ability to cleanse and heal. Her compassion for my innocence. Her support as I flow- Water is carrying me home. 

Fire burns through fear. No more fear. No room for falseness. No tolerance for that which is less than the full potential of WHO WE ARE. Fuck this. Says my fire. FUCK that which is not in balance. FUCK that which is limiting my freedom of expression. FUCK structures that are in place to keep us small, trapped, fearful, and oppressed. "NO MORE" shouts FIRE. She moves through emotion through the body of earth and transforms into Passion. Bodies collide in sweaty mess of unbridled connection to let the fire surge through all that is false. Fucking to purify the mind, to purify the heart. Fucking the Earth to feel alive. Fucking the Sky to feel divine. 

Air whispers in the background- all is well. I support you in your inhale, I support you in your exhale. Wind carries change and new perspective. The Wind carries seeds to propagate new culture, new thought. Pollinating bees ride on her to make love to sweet fragrant buds. Wind blows in storms to clear, clear, clear. Great power of the breath of life. She is ever moving, ever shifting, ever supporting. Communication rides atop Wind to get to it's destination unscathed. I hear the voices of my ancestors, it is time to heal those scars left in the body of your mother, and her mother's mother. Leave it to the Wind to unite the people of like-mind in order to create healing so powerful, the DNA is forever changed. Hear my song, sweet wind. Unite my elements together in a magical dance of integrated freedom. Aho.

I breathe in Fire and out Air
I create Earth and release Water
I am supported in the fullness of who I am without a doubt
My mother Lover, and my own lover
Interweaving passions and partners and songs and dances
Finding our Fuck Yes's, and our Hell No's 
Listening with an open heart
and Speaking with an open mind
Having love serve as the most bad ass container, in order to discover deeper connection. 
Unabashedly unafraid. 
Freedom in the body, heart, and soul.
This is what it means to be an eco-sexual. 

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