Time: existance thereof or lackthereof?

I am just trying out the technology of this blog. So we have here an interesting artistic photo from the photo shoot yesterday. Bummer I couldn't keep all of the pictures. Tends to be a rip off and costs 100's of dollars to have a picture of your own face.


Today I would like to comment on Time. Does anyone else notice what is happening? I don't even know if I can really put a finger on it. It is as if Time has molded. Weeks feel like a moment, months seem long enough but in retrospect it is all a blurr. It really does feel like the time warp matrix web that we have been stuck in for so long is altering. NOW. An interesting point to note on that subject. I have also been witnessing how my own perceptions of the world and ability to hold a higher frequency can be amplified or squashed depending on the type of people I am around. So then the way I deal with mundane things (although nothing is mundane) or lets say every day things- becomes more heavy, musome (a word?), harder somehow. BECAUSE: now my own energy has been greatly altered. Or maybe rather it is vibrating at a pretty normal rate but because I am now not currently around my 'kind' (my crystalline energetic refractor people- soul sistahs). So then I feel more 'stuck' so to say inside of this time illusion, material world illusion- then when I am surrounded by high vibrating beings. When I am around those that understand on a soul level why we are here (all of you indigos, starseeds, and the likes) then my energy battery/frequency battery is recharged and I am able to be in the world at a much lighter, higher frequency then I currently feel I am. YET..... it is all so good and so okay because like I have mentioned before there are the WOODS. Those plants and animals that never developed egos. They are there eminating pure divine love for all of us to soak in when we are aware and asking for it. Then I also recognize part of my work is to anchor down the light and be that light in EVERY and all situations. GOD that is fucking hard sometimes.

I so recognize the necesity of having soul food; having people who relate, get, and recharge your energetic core. I honor that necesity now more then ever... I am calling in all tribe, family, light workers to unite and create this collective family. As we are awakening we are recognizing we cannot do this alone. I feel that so strong. I NEED and desire my people. My tribe provides me with the deep acceptence, understanding, freedom, and power that feels so crucial to have right now.

So meshing back into the theme of Time. My feelings are that things are shifting sooooooooooo rapidly. Thus: it is extremely vital to stay grounded and continue honing in the highest frequency possible. Of course it becomes that much easier when all you attract around you are beings that understand the same. For those of us in situations where we are around people a lot who carry a lot of fear.... what can we do? Acknowladge it but not feed it??? Offer other possibilities? Let it roll off of our skin?? Then in my case it seems as if only TIME can really alter things. Time brings me in new locations. Time lets the sun set and my dreambody fly. Time allows for things to shift, yet it also allows for things to become hectic if not treated right.

So an oath, homage, toast, cheers to Time. To the paradox that it is and isn't. To the lessons it brings us. To the wrinkles it bestows if we so let it. To the time when there will cease to be linear mental time as we know it! I praise those days.... yet can only praise them through the contrast we are now living.

Aloha
Nori Bumble Bee

duality of reflections.... transparency

Düsseldorf with Auntie Andrea

Bwa. That is how they say it. Here in German speaking land ol' mighty. Today I was seen walking down the most expensive street in Düsseldorf (kinda like a warped verison of New York City's Soho).... quite interesting really. It probably never ceases to amaze me the kind of perversion that goes into adversising and consumerism society. How utterly IMPORTANT it is to wear the newest shoes, look fab, and gossip about nonsensical things. Ok. All my judgements. Or rather let me say observations.... We need the contrast in everything, don't we?

Yeah and after my aunt and I arrived in the big D, we found the photo shooting place inside a pretty fancy version of a mall. I was made up to be between glamorous and natural... haha does that exist=? I was taken into a room with many different wall flavors, chairs, and big lights. Then I got to play and shine! It is funnnnn to be in front of a camera, I know all wouldn't agree... but I think it was clear a long time ago that the camera is a good good friend of mine! After taking way too many fabulous glamour shots of miss. diesel, I picked out a few to take home. YEa, big exciting story I know! This is when pictures are really worth a thousand words!!!

As for my daily artistic practice.... hmmmm did a little free dance in a field inside the Düsseldorf park. Does french braiding my aunts' hair count? Well the day isn't over yet and I intend to wind down with a lovely artistic reflection of self drawn with 3 colored pencils, and I intend to dance out that present self I drew.

Also a very subtle tribute to Prunes. May you be there in cases when I need you most.

In light,
N

Laying in a COW field admist dried poop

Hallelujiah!!! Don't even know how to spell that word. Great... Haha. The trilingual thing gets in the way sometimes. OK people just want to share that today was INCREDIBLE. Mostly the incredible part had to do with, again, being by myself.... and dum dum dum, walking through nature. The walk led me to a Hummoungousssss field (again ignore all spelling) where I am assuming cows usually graze and shit out cow patties. Next to this field is a bench overlooking the rolling green German hills. I immediately sank into a deep trance of sorts. First I let myself fall into a beautiful and honest meditation, I felt so clear and expansive: as if the outline of my body eventually faded away with the crisp breeze, and the witness me was just that: witnessing existence from closed eyelids. Opening my eyes was juicy: to just simply be and see the way wind blows through the hair of trees, the way green can be expressed 100 times and never be bored, the way I saw so much more in action then I heard (I wear hearing aids and during this walk I had none in). After about 15 minutes of peace on this lonely bench I made my way slowly down the path- befriending a black bird with a worm in it's mouth. I seriously started to believe I was being told to follow this bird because it never flew away.... then eventually it did- probably thinking I was stalking it.. haha. Because of my super sweet heart space I was able to immediately fall into honest dances with several trees. Just imagine a little fairy in the woods flittering about and watering the thirsty roots with energy love. It becomes like a sacred mission to be the only one in a forest at any given moment and to have a pretty open connection with a specific tree. I felt like I was the only one in the world who had ever given any attention to this particular being. So I was in essence watering it's roots with my presence, with my love. Yummy. What a freeing feeling. Just love it. Then...eventually even the fairies feel done with their work. I sleethed ( is that a word? if it isn't it is now!!) over to the fence which surrounded the huge green pasture and crawled under it. I frolicked over to where I was in a crease in the hills and felt pretty alone in the sense no one could really spot me. Then.... I layed in the petrified cow shit grass! YES! The sky was blue. The coulds were white. The chem trails where as present as ever. An occasional rumble ment a huge plane was flying over head, which really was the only noise other then silencio! When was the last time you looked at clouds without feeling like you had to be somewhere in 10 minutes? I became even more embeded in my heart trance. Laying on my back I felt like I was the Goddess of this hill, of my own universe! I felt like my mind was so intricately connected to the way the clouds formed their shapes. I seriously felt for a few moments that I was causing the clouds to disapear! Uhhh.... um.

After quite a many ol' minutes (though this is completly void of time remember) I decided to get up and dance ontop of this poop hill! Glorious. Sun = Shadows= cool mirror. I don't know of anything more impowering at this moment then what I did this afternoon. I was fully embodied as my Goddess/ Fairy self. I let the breast of Gaia become my trustworthy supporter. I let time become a lost friend. I accessed myself in my full power. I was able to stay and view existence from my heart instead of my mind. I wish this was obviously conveyed everytime I smile to strangers and they don't get any wrong messages. ( which I don't think is the case anyways).

I always hope to retain these feelings of utter connectedness... yet slowly it vanishes time and time again.

Traces remain.

In any case I am grateful for reminders and crisp clear breaths of fresh air. I am grateful for moments when silence becomes my ally and words are utterly useless... because then I can start to really breathe from my heart instead of programed mind stress gunk.

Namaste. I recognize the light within you as so it is within me. The same light that we all carry. Even trees and cow shit!

Time musings...importance of Sun!

Are you wondering what time is exactly? Or noticing how days just run together so rapidly and a week still seems like a month, but at the same time only a moment's snapshot? Time has flown. It disapeared a while ago in my world. In my bubble. Instead of time- I now go by feeling. Or I let others stress about time while I sit back and watch patiently as the universe unfolds the next obvious step for me to take. Deep within me there is a part of me comforted knowing that I am EXACTLY where I NEED to BE at every possible instant in my day. Still, it trips me out big time. Nothing seems quite tangible- graspable. Like the heartbeat of Earth is quickening along with our footsteps... What are we racing towards? The new future that is head-on colliding with our burried-in-the-material-world-selves. This slow cosmic- (how can I say it is slow--- all relevance to fast and slow has been lost) evolution is knocking on our doors. It is riding every light beam from creator to my skin-- reminding me of the keys that I onced carried in full conciousness. Now it really feels like all I need is to bask in the warm sun, close my eyes, feel my heart, and breathe---- then whoosh I am there inside the truth. The tangible beingness and stillness that is ever-present. Yeah, that makes it sound like my days are spent in bliss. More often then not they are not.... but still I treasure the moments where I remember, and it is coming about more and more in my situation now where I remember best when I am by myself outside. In my heart, in the sunshine, I can embrace the paradox of time. Let it guide me and let it fly by me. Just a musing and dwelling before I pop into dreamworld tonight. But a lovely reflection to notice how when I am by myself I am usually 99% always in a higher vibration then when I am with people that cannot hold the same. Of course when I am with similar vibrating folks, the vibz just skyrocket and the whole planet feels our laughter! So bring on the fun, light, sun, goodness! Bless

Morning Musings and connections with weeds

Keeping this one short- Because time seems to always wanna run away with me- especially here at my grandmothers apartment in Germany. What a lovely way to wake up this morning though- go outside onto my small balcony and start my day off my breathing in the fresh new air. In MomoButoh we are doing the significant other practice where we find a plant or animal and connect in with it and then dance for it-with it. So here I am a fresh crisp monday morning welcoming the week by dancing my WEED dance. What a feeling to be pushed down by heavy concrete, yet have the courage to keep pushing your existance up and out between the cracks to bask in the sunlight you too deserve. Then, dancing the Chem-Trail Dance is quite heart warming. To see the insane amount of 'chemically polluted- chem trails' forever creating big X's in the sky- yet instead of getting upset about the insanity- I too can dance the X dance, the white in the blue sky dance, the confusion dance.
So... this is just how my day begins- and what a glorious way to affirm my existance, to mediate, create, express in my most vital element: MOVEMENT: YEAH. I am excited and ready to confront any challenges of the day with ease, grace, love, and compassion. So gonna shake my bootayyy!

Media triggered poetic response

Media Triggered my Hands to Start Writting:

When I stare at a screen- flashing me moving images. My mind starts to hyperspeed.
No thoughts, only judgements escape my lips.
To what degree do I becomed programmed by all of this?
Allowing mass-media to filter through my brain like spaghetti through a drain.
Movie stars, Glamor shots, attempts to fit into the western slots.
Look at me.
I'm so pretty.
My body is my soul, and I'm worth a lot of gold.
It's hard to see superficiality replayed in rapid speed, untill my mind starts to believe....
What calculates worth, talent and fame- the masses agree to an extent or you wouldn't see it on stage.
My mind is a precious jewel strewn upon jaggered stones,
it radiates in comparisson with the souls that are droned.
Not to play judgement games or ridicule the rest-
all of us have equal chance to make ourselves the best.
It's just I know I'd never sell my worth for the flashy paper bills,
no matter if they come with pink mini frills.
My conciousness is heightened and there is no way to back down,
So if anything I'd be onstage spreading love around.
The messages I am bringing forth today
are written in galaxies many lightyears away...
And so my chapter ends today with a grin,
Someone told me, it doesn't matter if we win.
the game of life has a big secret many don't know.
It is not about what we do, where we are, or where we go.
It only ever matters how we treat each moment.
When they come dressed up I've been taught to use discernment.
With the rapid images flashing through my mind,
The messages are reveiling their kind
What subtle warnings or codes were stored in my brain's filing cabnit,
to become unlocked in the future when I know what to do with it.
Hyperspeed becomes tranquility, in the meditative trance of TV zone-ality.
Circle and loops- to go so fast it reverts to stillness,

The paradox of perception-
when we don't ask questions,
how de we know we even exist as individuals if our knowladge isn't fought for,
rather boughten through loans, inserted through textbooks, and sold at stores?

All I am saying is that I am staying,
a while longer,
to finally uncover,
the truth of this mystery that lies so active within our history
and waits to be unlocked by the power of our thoughts
when we decide to unite
by the desire to give up fight
SO the day will come when our TV screens will refect harmony
or our brains will be wired differently
and infinite love will be the entertainer-
fully soothing all brainwaves
and activating our DNA
so we can slowly mutate
and transcent this dreamstate.!!!

Written May 14th, 2011

poems of sorts

Written May 15th, 2011:

She Danced.

Maybe this will be the day that I choose.
Today I danced.
Waiting at the bus station.
I was plugged into my music streaming from Africa to my ears.
Cars were parked at red lights watching a blonde girl in a 70's skirt and tennis shoes move to the beat that inspired her.
She was I.
I am her.
That girl.
She inspires you.
You can't help but to smile when she spins, arms out-stretched soaking in the sun in the midst of a concrete jungle. You think- 'she is brave for being free- free to be herself'. I am She.
And I say maybe today is the day that you choose.
Next time we pass and our eyes meet will you hold my gaze knowingly?
Could we share our secret with such rapture, that I could walk away glowing, only knowing that now you are that much more free.... to blow away with the wind if she sings to you.
Like she sings to me.




The way I spit words from this pen is like unleashing racing horses from their pens, all lined up and ready to run though masses of brainwashed citizens- to leave the words empty of meaning. Not knowing where this source of inspiration is coming from other then the raw squeezing of my heart valve, circulating the minutes through my veins. Counting down to existence of 'no-time' a moment englufed within its matrix, a web of dew woven into a drop.  Empty out the mind, heart, soul- fragmented onto paper, the days become like an old record player skipping about in the head replaying, yearning, erasing. (Eating out the forgotten tradgedies- the strawberries and cream of cremation ceremonies.) When I can't seem to love, some more food goes down the valve- filling up the pieces of my forgotten selves- Struggling like the record player without batteries: pieces of my browken dewed-web-matrix get caught in the blood getting pumped through my heart getting recirculated through each new minute untill I slam down a poem with a pen.
Written May 11th, 2011 Bad Godesberg, Germany


Im tired.

I'm so tired. Tired of spitting out useless words reminding myself of what I don't know and the truths' that I've forgotten.
 I am tired of relooping into the same patterns and habits only screaming blindly- to be chopped and cremated into compost.
Why doesn't enlightenment knock upon my door like a recognizable stranger handing me a silver key to unlock the chains I carry?
Maybe tired isn't the right word, but I feel old and young, innocent and raped of some stardust I used to soley be made of.
Where are the triumphing horns of an angel band to wake me up in the morning?
At least can't I remain creatively inspired by the raw motion of life all the time?
I am tired of the reminders I see plastered around this town: that my art is young, and can't grow old unless it lives.
So when I do walk and fall into natures silent conversations- I am finally tired enough
to start dancing with my new friend: Mr. Thorn Shrub.
He feeds me the right attention for the right minute,
and is probably laughing creduoulsly- hopefully rather grateful a gypsy gone civilized has made sense at last!
Did I say I am tired?
It is fucking tiring to hide behind smoke veils, creaing a real hologram of intent to boil behind.
The day is approaching when my water will slither over and disipate this 'smoke' me and
the illusionary, or so it seems- rather pointless way of interacting in the video game called life.
Don't get me wrong.
I am full on who I am...
Life can just be so hallarious to imprision our galactically gree soul-selves into this MEGA-tastic machine called the body.
Yeah. So I am tired...
Of indentifiying with all of this shizzzzzzz
Why can't I wake up one morning next to Enlightenment stroking my hairline, whispering 'I love you' into my heart?
Who says I can't?
I am tired of these words and ideas that tie me into a complicated puzzle of fractured selves- each living out spontaneous simultaneous hazzardous lives.
I am tired of feeling seperated....
My mind from my heart from my gut from my ISNESS.
Lets talk buisness. I am here and alive for reasons spectaculour and I am tired cause my ego shot my angel wings into puzzle pieces.
These are the pieces I use to build my fairy-tale house with, yet when the big bad wolf blows it will tumble and my security along with it. So I'm tired of reconstructing fragile houses and letting them shatter.
I'm tired that I don't have reminders of who I am if I take away the name.
Now...
I realized long ago this is all a cycle matrix game- but I'm telling BIG MAMA I'm tired and I wanna go home!

Germany and Butoh blessings

Oh wow the inspiration never stops. Thank you to Momo and the company for holding such a solid framework within to allow myself the freedom to explore dancing with life!!! Visit http://www.momobutoh.blogspot.com/ for the blog of the company... I want to share with those of you that don't know what this is about... Basically in my own journey this is the next step- a way for me to integrate my desire to be and create art, into my every day life. Butoh in this form is pretty simple- an act of presence- a meditation- a means of connecting and becoming here and now with your surroundings. For example today in the windy hills of Bad Godesberg, Germany- I stood on my balcony and had an intimate encounter with a pine bush. The sun suddenly popped out behind the clouds and next thing I know I am dancing with the suns radiance- feeling through the depth of my being how alive my interaction can be between suns light rays and my physical moving body. What a delicious feeling to soak it in like that. Continuing my butoh practice I went walking and ended up kind of suddenly in a cementary. OO.... what interesting energy there- Old old tombstones, and towering drapping trees. I kept walking uphill stopping randomly to imitate a roseshrup or a statue. I then found myself inside of a small church on the hillside and stopped inside to meditate a bit, before I left I busted out a dance in response to the repression -- type energy I felt there.... nothing quite like dancing in an empty church imagining the priest or pope or whomever pretending to frown but deep down surpressing a child like giggle. REALLY... every one can do this. Take a moment out of your day to explore your enviornment with awe and freshness. Maybe drinking your tea becomes a moment of affection and gratitude, or perhaps putting on a shirt can become its own engaging dance! I am excited to keep plugging butoh (or random acts of presence through dance) into my own daily life! Who how..... and the fun never stops even though sometimes it may seem that way.... I am blessed, Namaste.