Hallelujiah!!! Don't even know how to spell that word. Great... Haha. The trilingual thing gets in the way sometimes. OK people just want to share that today was INCREDIBLE. Mostly the incredible part had to do with, again, being by myself.... and dum dum dum, walking through nature. The walk led me to a Hummoungousssss field (again ignore all spelling) where I am assuming cows usually graze and shit out cow patties. Next to this field is a bench overlooking the rolling green German hills. I immediately sank into a deep trance of sorts. First I let myself fall into a beautiful and honest meditation, I felt so clear and expansive: as if the outline of my body eventually faded away with the crisp breeze, and the witness me was just that: witnessing existence from closed eyelids. Opening my eyes was juicy: to just simply be and see the way wind blows through the hair of trees, the way green can be expressed 100 times and never be bored, the way I saw so much more in action then I heard (I wear hearing aids and during this walk I had none in). After about 15 minutes of peace on this lonely bench I made my way slowly down the path- befriending a black bird with a worm in it's mouth. I seriously started to believe I was being told to follow this bird because it never flew away.... then eventually it did- probably thinking I was stalking it.. haha. Because of my super sweet heart space I was able to immediately fall into honest dances with several trees. Just imagine a little fairy in the woods flittering about and watering the thirsty roots with energy love. It becomes like a sacred mission to be the only one in a forest at any given moment and to have a pretty open connection with a specific tree. I felt like I was the only one in the world who had ever given any attention to this particular being. So I was in essence watering it's roots with my presence, with my love. Yummy. What a freeing feeling. Just love it. Then...eventually even the fairies feel done with their work. I sleethed ( is that a word? if it isn't it is now!!) over to the fence which surrounded the huge green pasture and crawled under it. I frolicked over to where I was in a crease in the hills and felt pretty alone in the sense no one could really spot me. Then.... I layed in the petrified cow shit grass! YES! The sky was blue. The coulds were white. The chem trails where as present as ever. An occasional rumble ment a huge plane was flying over head, which really was the only noise other then silencio! When was the last time you looked at clouds without feeling like you had to be somewhere in 10 minutes? I became even more embeded in my heart trance. Laying on my back I felt like I was the Goddess of this hill, of my own universe! I felt like my mind was so intricately connected to the way the clouds formed their shapes. I seriously felt for a few moments that I was causing the clouds to disapear! Uhhh.... um.
After quite a many ol' minutes (though this is completly void of time remember) I decided to get up and dance ontop of this poop hill! Glorious. Sun = Shadows= cool mirror. I don't know of anything more impowering at this moment then what I did this afternoon. I was fully embodied as my Goddess/ Fairy self. I let the breast of Gaia become my trustworthy supporter. I let time become a lost friend. I accessed myself in my full power. I was able to stay and view existence from my heart instead of my mind. I wish this was obviously conveyed everytime I smile to strangers and they don't get any wrong messages. ( which I don't think is the case anyways).
I always hope to retain these feelings of utter connectedness... yet slowly it vanishes time and time again.
Traces remain.
In any case I am grateful for reminders and crisp clear breaths of fresh air. I am grateful for moments when silence becomes my ally and words are utterly useless... because then I can start to really breathe from my heart instead of programed mind stress gunk.
Namaste. I recognize the light within you as so it is within me. The same light that we all carry. Even trees and cow shit!
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