So Wednesday morning I awoke with a heavy sickness coming on; started in my throat and took me out. This was in some way (like all things) probably really necessary- that I was out cold for a few days. This allowed me to have precious alone time, deep internal reflection time, and the sleep that I have been craving - even if I was concious of that craving or not. Being sick is literally like having a powerful reset button being pushed. The body naturally cleanses itself, naturally heals itself, and naturally loves itself- only if we (spirit/ego) allow the natural process to happen. I am so grateful at how fast and natural my body is progressing. From when I woke up this morning at around 9 am to now 2pm... the heavy residue of my sore throat is practically gone. To me that is incredible. Of course I know instaneous healing, quantum healing, miracle healing, ect. all exist... but I have to start somewhere right?
So much gratitude comes from having abilities and situations taken away- and then to have them again. This learning process that comes through seperation is incredible. I really wish I could carry around the humbleness, reverence, and sheer appreciation for the simplest things in life- all the time. Our health is EVERYTHING. Without it- then what? To me life is about quality, how can I soak in the richness of this experience without having an optimal body to pass the experience through? My heart goes out to all those people in the world who are in deep pain- how can we as a human race allievate suffering?
Though- I do recognize suffering has its place. I am certainly grateful for it (if it is in the least bit tolerable)- because it allows me to be that much more grateful, humble, centered, and compassionate.
My physical lessons as of about a month seem to be dealing with the throat. Avenues of expression. Releasing all fears of expressing 100% honestly to how I feel, what I am experiencing at any given moment. There is such a boost of self-empowerment when I just lay it out flat- when I allow there to be no hinderances to how I am experiencing this reality. I recognize in my being completely honest and vulnerable- it allows others to do the same and to recieve me in a more compassionate state. But above all- this is honestly the only thing I CAN DO. It is a little errie- I must admit. I feel so in tune with my own inner state (ok ok not all the time... but a lot) that to not express something that I feel like must be expressed- just seems absurdly ridonculous...
And to add to that:
I moved to Salt Lake City to go through massage school with a close soul sister, Shelly. It really does feel like we are in some intense relationship right now- because I kind of more or less depend on her for my active life here. Through her I have met everyone I have met- have had the amazing opportunities I have had...ect. I just wanted to honor how well I think we are both doing for the intensity of the situation- because we are spending almost 24/7 with each other- granted we are still looking for that perfect spot to root down and create serious space boundaries- called bedrooms. I believe one of the key ingredients we both have down pretty solid, is our ability to communicate from the heart. If we are sensing that something is up, or we infringed on a sensitivity, or whatever- we can always approach and handle each situation with maturity. Even if it is in retrospect- and we have had a moment to think before reacting.
In Lak'esh. I am another you.
I honor all my relations:
IN EVERYTHING they are teaching me.
Through the challenges comes great rewards- I feel like everytime I take a big leap forward in learning about myself- I have accomplished so incredibly much! That is why we are here right?
To. To. To.... LEARN. YEA...
And what better than to have amazing goddesses, fellow human beings, and nature- reflect back to us our own shadows, our own beauty, and our own infinitie potential?
Wo... that was definitely quite a download. Love you!
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