life art process

Measuring.

I am trying to understand life.

At least what she is trying to tell me.

Where am I supposed to live?  Here or there?

Seems like clarity should explode from every cell of my being, or every cell of this table, or every cell of my food.

Is it possible to look into the coffee grinds and see what the future holds?

Can I?

I am inspired to create.
I watched the documentary about Anna Halprin called "Breath made visible"-

LIFE IS ART. there is no seperation.

And so in this life-art-process I can use my uncertinty to create art- I can dance in the midst of chaos, in the midst of not knowing, and in the middle of feeling unsettled.

All I have to do is DO IT. Commit to my life. Commit to my art. Let there be no seperation.

Measuring-
Balancing my time, my effort, my desire, my healing

I WANT IT ALL.....

I know that healing and dance are both predominate things in my life that I am here to do good work with.
Now my life is immersed in Massage school, the healing aspects- and I still feel like part of my soul is dying, being forgotten. The only thing that fulfills that part of my being is through dance, art, and the creative process... Even though I have noticed when I am fully immersed in that world- I would never be completely satisfied unless I incorporate the spirituality and healing aspects into dance and art.

This is a balance I am struggling to find. How can I have it all?
I usually tend to come really close-

Life. Trying to understand where and how everything fits and flows together.
I am recognizing the place and importance of the heart.
In order to understand- I must live from the heart, know from the heart, love from the heart.

Then there is no duality. And I can have it all.

Patience, commitment, dedication.

Healing, Dance, freedom, community, expression, nature, love, yes yes yes